Fluff

I started this blog years ago as I began my weight loss journey. I’m still amazed to look back and read the early entries...it reminds me of where I started and how far I’ve come...even if I have had peaks and valleys along the way. (That’s life). The “Fluff” was originally referring to weight. Extra fat that was keeping me from feeling like I could be a good role model for my daughters. Keeping me from being able to keep up with them. Keeping me from being able to feel comfortable in my own skin. Keeping me from wanting to be in pictures. Keeping me from wanting to
go clothes shopping.

I won that battle (the war is ongoing). But over time, I’ve realizef the “Fluff” is more than than all that aforementioned stuff.

It’s being focused on what will keep me healthy, so I can be my best for my family. So I can be present. So I can have more patience and better responses for the very trying situations my pre-teen girls are running into. It goes so much deeper than I imagined 7 years ago when I started...I was a mom of very small little girls and I just had no idea what was coming. I probably have no idea what is coming yet 😂

But I do know that eliminating as much fluff as possible means working on both physical AND mental barriers to being the very best mom I can be. Not perfect. Nobody is. But the best I can be, for my kids, where they are at.

It’s a struggle, but it will be made all that much easier if I keep battling the battles. The war? I’m not convinced that’s coming. Life is an endless series of battles...and weight loss, getting healthy and strong...that’s no exception for people like me who have to work their asses off in this particular area of life. Not that strong and healthy people don’t work hard...but some will gain nothing by looking at a piece of bread, some will gain 5 lbs when they look at that same piece of bread 😂 I also get that everyone has their own struggles and there are folks who want or need to gain weight.

My point is...do your best, for all of the right reasons. Exercising makes me feel proud, accomplished, and hopeful that my kids will see this and also want to be as strong and healthy as adults. That they’ll look back someday and remember mom and dad in he back yard playing soccer with them on a September Saturday evening (like tonight). Do YOUR best, with YOUR circumstances, for YOUR perfect reasons.

Keep on Keepin’ on

This week was a success! The scale finally started moving and once again I stuck to my training plan.
I was running naked last week (see previous post), but this week I’ve been back with my beloved Fitbit. However, I haven’t paid much attention to pace during my runs. Good thing too because I accidentally had it set to not use my phone GPS at first, and it was giving me slightly better feedback than I deserved 😂

That’s okay though. It feels great to be active again. I’m sleeping better, have more patience (usually...) and I’m feeling positive about the next couple of months training for my fall half marathon.

This weekend, I’m doing 6 miles with my friend Pamela (AKA Ely Half Marathon sidekick/bad-ass).
And I’m looking forward to it! I feel strong and motivated. Not that it means I won’t struggle... I KNOW I will, at times. But it’s all part of the journey. Running a race is awesome. The excitement, nervousness...and feeling of accomplishment when you cross the finish line. But really, it’s not the race itself that is the biggest deal. It’s all of the time, energy and sweat you spend in the weeks or months leading up to it. Whether it’s a former gym class failures first 5k (AKA me, circa 2011), or a half marathon, marathon and beyond...The biggest thing that makes you a bad-ass is that you invested and worked hard to prepare for just one day. For a matter of an hour or less, or even 5 hours. You spent WAY more time preparing...and it pays off.

The last two years, I ran this same half marathon. In 2016, I sort of crash-trained but I was coming off a marathon in June so I had some cushion left. In 2017? Crash trained, all the way. A few weeks, a few long runs and a few short runs. This year? I’m investing the time amd energy to be truly prepared. I haven’t done that since the marathon in 2016. And I’m ready. #imback

Running Naked

Running naked feels weird and unnatural. Why is that?  It’s not like we were born with a GPS attached to us, and it’s not like you NEED to track everything in order for it to count.....

...that’s right, the naked I’m referring to is being without a GPS watch or some sort of fitness tracker.

A couple of weeks ago, I misplaced (lost) my Fitbit Charger. Looked everywhere for it, and came up empty handed. And so, since I’ve started running again, I’ve been doing it NAKED! *Cue horrified face*.  It was not easy at first...I’m totally a tracker. I’m damn near obsessive about having each run tracked so I can see how I did and see the increase (or decrease) in pace or distance over time. I do tend to Che k it often during my runs, to see how my pace is and help push myself to go a little faster, or remind myself to slow down. Running without my Fitbit felt like a had a giant question mark when it came to my progress the last couple of weeks. I did use my Iphone’s Health App to at least track daily steps, which is cool, but just not the same. However, I will say, I got used to it. And even liked it. It started to feel good to run without having any kind of device to refer to. To just go, and go at whatever pace my body naturally fell into. No temptation to analyze (over analyze) time, pace, distance...I just went. Didn’t know my pace at any given time, never knew what my final exact mileage or overall pace was.

Yesterday, my husband found my charger (of course, since 2 more are on the way from Amazon). And it felt good to have it back when I went out this morning. I’m excited to track my progress as I get further into training for the Ely Half. But, I’m goung to keep in mind that sometimes, a naked run is freeing. Sometimes, you just need to run NAKED.

Ely, Year 3...Here I Come!

Total.Fail.

I’m a blogging disgrace...distracted by life so much so that I haven’t updated in months.  Obviously..In the grand scheme of things...my casual, non-money making blog isn’t really such a big deal. But it WAS one of the keys to my success back in 2011 when I started my journey. So hopefully I can get back into the habit of updating, because I could really use as much motivation as I can get

Over the last several years, A LOT has changed. A LOT has happened...as the case is for any human on the planet.

So.... how am I doing? I’m doing alright. I have not maintained the absolute low weight I was at, not have I maintained the mileage I could once do or the speed I once had.  But I’m stronger now, thanks to Orange Theory. I still do that. Also thanks to Orange Theory, I CAN go months without running outside and then pick back up pretty easily. That’s nice, and definitely wouldn’t be possible without OTF. Weight-wise, I’ve been fairly steady over the last year. I really do want to get back down a little, but it’s not my number one goal right now. (Yes it would be a bonus and I’d be damn thrilled if I lost a few, DUH).

My goal right now is to 1.) Finish the Ely half marathon this fall and 2.) Finish it faster than I have the last 2 years.

We shall see about number 2, but I am confident number 1 will be in the bag 🙃
Last week, I started getting up early to run or walk during the week. This week, I’m beginning my “plan” (which is essentially 3-4 miles, twice a week, plus a long run on the weekends. And continuing with OTF which is great for speed work, cross training, and adding variety).

So far so good.

The challenges of the Holidays

Christmas is only a couple weeks away, so we're in full swing of the Holiday craziness. Parties, shopping....treats everywhere. It's been a challenging year for me as far as getting back on track but the last few months and especially the last few weeks I've done a good job of balancing it all. In fact, for the first time ever, I've actually lost weight in November/December! Probably about 10 lbs so far. My goal is 10 more...my "reach" goal would be more like 20 more, but that will be hard knowing where my body's happy weight is.  Either way, I'll keep doing what I'm doing which is running and Orange Theory, along with allowing a couple of splurges sometimes but making sure to choose healthy the rest of the time. It's hard...treats are everywhere...at work, at parties, at everyone's houses. Fitting in the workouts is hard too, with crazy schedules. One motivator for me right now is a weight challenge at OTF. $5 buy in, and then an entry for each workout. As long as you stay within 2 lbs of your weight (or less) and you're in the drawing to win half the money (so 2 names will be drawn). The pot is something like $1180. The chance to win $590 is a great motivator 😜
With that I leave you with some pics of what I've been up to. It's been awhile since I posted any pics.


About to finish the Boundary Water Bank Marathon (Ely, MN)  in September.


Start of the Monster Dash in St. Paul.

Thanksgiving Day Turkey Trot with MRTT. I'm on the far right, bottom row. 

Turkey Trot was followed by Mimosas and coffee/Rumchata (I'm on the far right)

Group pic after one hardcore 90 minute Orange Theory session (I am 3rd from left, bottom row. My beast of a husband is far right, bottom row). 

Enjoying a fire at a Tree Farm where we cut down our Christmas tree this year....and trying to get the kids to let us take a decent pic. (HA).

Epic socks I bought last night while out for a night of sushi and shopping with my awesome friend Katie.

Return to Running!

The last year or so has been a pretty challenging one, personally (who doesn't have those bad weeks/months/years), so I mostly stopped running. I can't recall if I've talked about the whole not-running thing, but it was mostly due to a lack of motivation/enthusiasm/time.  It was weird because I WANTED to run, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  I had other priorities and no motivation to add running into the balance. 

Fast forward to August, and I finally decided to give it a go again.  I had run maybe once or twice a month for most of the last year, so I knew it would be a challenge.  Although, I was much better off than I would have been if I hadn't been doing Orange Theory the last several months.  Thank God for Orange Theory (yep, still going, still loving it). 

As a motivational piece to running again, I signed up for the Boundary Waters Bank Half Marathon (AKA Ely Half Marathon) again.  This was the last race I ran...a year ago.  It's an extremely hilly race and I decided to "crash train" for it. Again.  I crash trained last year too, but I feel like that was a bit different because at least I was coming off a full marathon in June and had still been maintaining at least some short runs.  This time around the only thing I was coming off of was a year's worth of logging almost no miles.  My first training run was 6 miles, and the rest of training consisted of Orange Theory twice a week, a few 3-4 mile runs sprinkled in here and there, and long runs of 7, 9, 10, and 7 miles. That was it, that was my training plan. I don't recommend it for a new runner, that is for sure.  I think there is something to "muscle memory" at least, and I also had a mindset where I knew I was fine with walk breaks, etc. Over time I worked out a system where I'd run 5-10 minutes and take a walk break NO MORE than 1 minute long. That seemed to go really well!

So this past weekend, we did it. My friend Pamela and I (and our families for added fun and support), headed up to Ely to tackle this beast once again.  We stayed in the same cabin we stayed in last year and it was a super fun weekend. The race itself was about as expected given my year off, lack of training, and the tough course.  I ran with some short walk breaks here and there, and finished in around 2:31.  But that's okay and it was definitely one of the only times in any race where I truly didn't care. It sure did feel good to be back though!  Now that I am trained up (well, somewhat), I decided "What the hell" and signed up for the Monster Dash Half Marathon on October 28th.

It felt crappy to fall off the wagon so long, but it feels amazing to be back on.

Progress!

Like many moms (and dads), my life is crazy busy....filled with busy days at work, kids activities, trying to keep a livable house, and doing never-ending loads of laundry. Lately it has been particularly crazy, with 2 kids in softball and husband coaching both their teams (bless his heart).
Although I still haven't been running, I have been sticking with Orange Theory. It's hard to carve out the time but I've figured it out and I love it! I am motivated to push hard, more so than if I were on my own. For the first month, I felt great but didn't see any results on the scale. I definitely know I've gained muscle, so that explains the delayed weight loss (along with "a few" not-so-healthy food choices "on occasion"). But I weighed in this morning and am now at a 4 lb loss. Finally! Feeling AND seeing results is the best motivator of all.  I'm taking the approach I took with my initial 90-lb loss, which was to break it up into smaller goals. My next goal is 4 more pounds. I can do this!!

It's really funny how wanting to lose 15 lbs has been feeling almost as overwhelming as it felt wanting to lose 77 (which was what I wanted to lose when I started the blog...I just ended up surpassing that). I know it's not the same...trust me, I know. But weight loss it hard, any way you slice it. Whether it's 5, 20, or 100 pounds. Your journey is YOURS. Your journey can change. And when you're like me, your journey may never really end. I'm not someone who can eat whatever and not gain a pound. It took a lot to lose 90 lbs, and it's taking a lot to maintain. But one thing I know better now than I did when I started this blog is just how worth it it is.  It's worth it, not only for my own sake but my family, too.

Never give up!