Wednesday, July 25, 2012

What a difference.

It's hard not to reflect from time to time upon how far I've come. I've changed and grown in so many ways.

I used to be overweight (obese even). Now my BMI is in normal range!

I used to be a size 20/22. Now I'm an 8/10!

I used to be lazy. Now I'm full of energy (in general, that is. Not saying I don't still have lazy days where I just wish I could sleep or sit around reading or watching movies for hours).

I used to be scared. Scared of having any attention on me (talking with a group of strangers for example) and scared of taking charge. Now I am actively working to overcome that, and am making great progress thanks to leading a local chapter of the national running group, Moms Run This Town. Also working on the Lake Superior Zoo virtual 5k...both of these are things I would never, ever have done before.

I used to cover up and wear loose clothing. I hated shorts and tank tops in the summer because I felt gross in them. I hated shirts being fitted. I preferred pants to be a size too big, so they'd still be comfy even when I sat down (which causes fat to "spread out", even for thin people. So that effect is 10 times worse when you're overweight). I hated shopping. Now, I wear clothes that fit! I love shopping. I wear shorts and tank tops. I even wear the right size pants (that is, sometimes, but only because I need lots of new stuff and am holding off until I hit I am making do with some too-big things for now. but not because I feel like I have to in order to be comfortable)!

I used to be the most un-athletic, out of shape person. If there was a category for it, in high school I'd probably have been voted least likely to ever do anything requiring physical strength or endurance. I never joined any sports and i failed gym in 8th grade (hated it so much i barely even attended). Now, I'm a runner. I love it, I love participating in races (for fun, not competition). I've done a half marathon and I'm training for another. I can do TWO WHOLE PUSH-UPS! Yes, TWO!! Regular ones even! My goal is to get to

I used to have no sense or consideration for what I put in my mouth. I ate like crap and in too-big quantities. On a regular basis. Now, I'm eating healthier with normal portions. I still fall off track, more often than i care to admit...and I do allow myself "bad" stuff, but I'm able to control it much better, or get back on track afterwards.

Most of all, I used to be unhappy with myself, disappointed in myself, and ashamed of myself. Now I'm proud, happy, excited, and motivated to keep this lifestyle forever.

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