Epiphany

Obviously, running has become my go-to fitness outlet. It's convenient and efficient; a great way to burn some calories, build some strength, and clear your mind. I started because I was trying to lose weight. I continue because I've grown to love (well, love-hate) it. And when I first discovered Moms RUN This Town, I never imagined I would meet so many amazing, inspiring people. Or make so many good friends. Or feel connected with so many women I've never even met thanks to social media and the connectivity it allows for MRTTers all over the country and the world. 

My old life was sedentary. I slogged my way through the days weighed down by an always-exhausted body. The thought of being a "runner" was about as realistic as the thought of traveling to Mars on a unicorn accompanied by my cats. 

Really, it did not matter that it felt unrealistic - it also sounded miserable.

I mean....Run? Like...RUN? Why would anyone want to do that?  I really didn't know many people who ran. As ration sounded like a crazy and rare feat. 

Fast forward. I'm a runner. And I love it. Thanks to MRTT, my social circle is also full of runners. This means that, rather than a rarity, it has shifted to feel like the norm. But that's the thing, and it's hard to remember - it's NOT! 

I heard that only 10% of the population runs. 1 out of 10 people you see on the street. The other 90%? I think they see it much more accurately than the 10%...running is something to be proud of! It might not always seem like a big deal when you're surrounded by runners, but that's not the norm. 

Runners may have a conversation that goes something like:

A: I didn't have much time this morning so I only ran a quick 2 miles.

B: I hear ya...I'm so busy this weekend that I'll probably only get in an 8 miler. 

And a non-runner would think that is insane. I know 5 years ago, I would have thought so! "Only" 2 miles?! Ha, I could barely run 50 feet! 

So with all that being said, one of my goals this year is to get away from saying "only". This is also closely related to saying the word "slow" but that could be a whole other post. Anyhow, I want to stay appreciative and proud of every run, even if it's "just" a mile....because there was a time when "just" a mile seemed like a pipe dream. 

You don't have the be a runner to be healthy or fit. You can choose countless other forms of exercise all with their own benefits. I urge you to find what works for you if you haven't already. It can change your life. 

I chose to be in the 10% who runs, and I know it has changed my life! 

My BS Meter is off the charts

One of the latest big controversies to hit Social Media in the Health & Fitness world: SELF Magazine makes fun of Cancer Survivor's Tutu.

 

SELF magazine contacted Monika for permission to use a picture of Monika and a friend wearing tutus during a Marathon. Monika said okay, thinking a magazine like SELF would be utilizing it for positive use. Sure, SELF does include sex, relationship and beauty material – but they also claim to provide health & fitness related material. A great picture of a woman running a marathon would surely constitute material worthy of making a healthy or fitness section in a magazine, and I imagine that is why Monika did not think to ask what, specifically, her photo would be used for. I am sure it never dawned on her to do so. (And it makes me really angry that they misled her that way).

So she was shocked when the issue came out with this:

 

That’s right. The SELF “B.S. Meter” says women wearing tutus in races is “lame”. It implies that we think wearing the tutus will make us faster.

NOW BACK THIS TUTU TRUCK UP. I have a lot of problems with this, but let’s start with the most basic.  Nobody…NOBODY….thinks wearing a tutu in a race will make them faster. That is not the purpose of the tutu in anybody’s mind. People wear tutus (and other various costumes) all the time, and you know why?  They do it to be silly. They do it because it makes them feel good and have a little fun while doing something active. They do it with a group of people to match or stand out. (See example below - this is a chapter of Moms RUN This Town who got festive for a holiday season race).

Women (and even some men) sometimes wear a tutu while running a race for various reasons, all of which are light hearted and ultimately, are of no matter. What really matters? The fact that they are out there, getting fresh air, getting exercise, enjoying themselves. I think it is incredibly crappy for anybody to call that “lame”.

As it is, it bugs me for magazines to tear women down for what they wear. I realize that is the industry, yadda, yadda, yadda. Also, I cannot claim to be perfect and that I have never judged somebody for superficial things. I try to do better, but I am human and it happens. But still, it’s jerky to do, and the jerk factor increases when you are doing it so publicly, and to a women (women) who are running a Marathon. DUDE. She was running a marathon.  I don’t care what you are wearing while doing it – it’s not lame, that’s fantastic and incredible.

So yeah, it bugs me. It would have bugged me (and plenty of other female, and even some male runners) no matter what. But unfortunately for SELF magazine, there is more to the story behind that picture.  Monika, whose name can be seen on her race bib, was undergoing chemotherapy for brain cancer when that picture was taken of her running a marathon. Her friend in the picture has “die tumor due” on her own race bib. Whoa. Running a marathon is amazing as it is – and she did it while fighting cancer. It was her first Marathon with brain cancer, and that is why they were wearing those outfits. Including those “lame tutus”.  Which, by the way, Monika makes and sells via her company, Glam Runner, and she donates her proceeds to a wonderful organization, Girls on the Run, which encourages young girls to exercise, be healthy, and supports them in developing self confidence and positive self esteem.

Oops. I do realize SELF probably did not realize Monika’s story when they saw and requested permission to use the photo. But they sure could have done themselves a huge favor by doing a little research on the picture (being the “die tumor die” on Monika’s friend’s race bib) or by asking Monika a few questions when they asked for permission to use that pic. If they had, they would have avoided a PR nightmare – and perhaps published a completely different piece in their article – a motivational, inspirational, and uplifting one!

As for the B.S. Meter? Methinks this move of SELF Magazine's is pretty high up there.

Edited to add: Since I wrote this post, SELF Magazine has posted an apology. Which is great, I guess. They say they have donated to Girls on the Run for Monika. Which is really great. And I am not sure what else anyone would expect them to do. It doesn't change the fact that they were completely out of line. It never should have happened - they should be empowering women on their healthy journeys, not putting them down for what they choose to wear, via a picture they requested permission to use but neglected to tell the owner that it would be used to make fun of her.

 

Why I'll always struggle, and why/how running will help.

I've been successful. I am not at "goal" but I am close, and I've been maintaining the loss I've had so far. It's been 2.5 years now since I started my journey. The journey will continue until I die. Why?

THE INNTER FATTIE (cue dramatic music)

Because I will ALWAYS have that "inner fattie". I may look different than I used to, and my lifestyle may be different - but I will always have that inner fat girl inside. I will always struggle to control over-eating and indulging in "junk" too often. I totally believe in balance, so I certianly don't cut anything out - but I will always struggle with eating just one doughnut instead of 3. It doesn't matter if I'm not hungry. It doesn't matter if my stomach is bloated and I am feeling a little too full...once I start, I will always want to keep going. It's something that a lot of people cannot understand unless they, too, struggle with it or have struggled with it. And I am sure it sounds ridiculous to those who have not experienced it.

Honestly, it sounds ridiculous to me, too. Why would I eat a box of cereal? Why would anyone want to eat pasta until they felt like they were going to explode? Who would eat frosting out of a can daily until the can was gone and it needed to be replaced for it's intended use on a cake (which of course promptly gets eaten in less than 2 days). Who eats a bag of chips, with dip, by themselves?

I don't know, but I know I admit to having done all of those things in my lifetime, so I understand others who have done it, too. And many won't admit it, but I think it's actually pretty common. And it can be painfully hard to overcome. For me, personally, taking ownership of it was a big part of the process. YES. I ate like crap. I binged. And of course, nobody binges on salads and veggies. And guess what else? It was nobody's fault but my own. Screw the excuses, it was ALL ME. And I was the only person who could fix it.

So yes. I will always struggle because my inner fattie is a part of me....she will always be lurking in the background - I am just learning how to better control her these days.

But now for the second part of my post - why I like running and how it helps and will continue to help battle my inner fatty and all of my old habits. Growing up, I hated gym. I hated sports. For many reasons, but one being that I just did not have the competitive nature necessary for team sports. And kids in school can be nasty. You miss a shot playing basketball and it was like the world was about to shatter! So, I grew up HATING sports and gym class in particular. I would have preferred torture with 24 hours of polka music while locked in an empty room by myself.

But I needed something active to do in order to help the weight loss journey. To get fit and healthy. Running is PERFECT. You do not have to compete against anybody but yourself - and even then, only if you want to. Some people love just heading out and running - no timer, no thoughts about pace. Just running. That is awesome!! I started out that way, and have evolved to be a bit competitive - with my own times. I love pushing myself to improve my last time. And I love that it does not matter what anyone else does, and nobody else is affected by what I do. It's all me. There will always be people faster, and always be people slower, and it doesn't matter! Running is so all-inclusive. You're a runner, whether you run 12 minute miles or 7 minute miles.

Bonus - I can do it with others or alone. I can get lost in my own thoughts or just zone out. I can step out my door and go, or drive to other areas or trails to explore. I just need a good pair of shoes and some work out clothes! And when I've been running regularly, my eating habits naturally get better, without even thinking about it. Who wants to ruin a good running streak with a bunch of junk food? And who wants to run, feeling all weighed down by a bloated stomach because you ate too much crap? It's perfect motivation to eat well, and eating well is a perfect motivation to run. For me, they now go hand in hand. I am a runner now, and I intend to stay that way - because it has become a key element of my continued health and weight loss/maintenance success.

I can EASILY see myself gaining all of my weight back and probably then some, if I don't stay active.

Vacation: Obese vs. fit

I am fresh off of a wonderful 4 day vacation to Ft. Myers Beach, FL, with my hubby. After a crazy year of some major life changes, we really needed the time away. Let me tell you, it was magnificent! One of my best vacations ever - and I can tell you that at least part of that is due to the state of my health.

When you are obese, unfit, unhealthy or any combination of the 3 (because while they often go together, there are times that they don't), vacation can be bittersweet. It's always great to get away and to relax. But it's no fun to stress over things like airplane seat belts (will it fit) and the tray that comes down (will my tummy be in the way of getting it all the way down). Even worse, it can be exhausting to do much walking and make you sweat 10x more than the average person. Getting into a bathing suit sucks. For many people, such as me in the past, doing certain things is intimidating.

Case in point: I would NEVER have went para-sailing in the past. Never. Ever. NEVER EVER. Not only is it nerve racking anyhow, but I would have been overcome with worries, founded or unfounded. Would the weight limit be enough? Would I look like a bit fat blob and be laughed at? Did my fat butt really belong up there? These things might seem, or even really BE ridiculous - but they were things I would have thought.
But not this time. Nope....hubby and I decided to go for it and it was spectacular. I was nervous, but I didn't let anything hold me back.

We also did a lot of walking - and I managed it just fine (other than the heat getting pretty tiring after being in the HOT sun for several hours a day a few days in a row - but that was mostly my wimpy Minnesota blood, not a low fitness level). One time, we were in a hurry to catch a trolley scheduled to come in, and the only way we would make it is if we ran. So we did. AND I was wearing flip flops! I really don't think I could have done that 2, and certainly not 3+ years ago. (We made it, by the way - we ran up to the trolley stop just as the trolley was arriving)!

Another new thing for me besides being more adventurous and being able to actually walk without keeling over....wearing cute swimsuits. Until now I have worn a lot of one-piece or 2 piece tankinis with built-in skirts. They were just fine, I am not knocking them so don't get me wrong. But everyone is different, and I longed to wear something "cute" as opposed to something that obviously came from the plus-sized racks. I ended up buying a red 2 piece tankini and a black/blue tankini as well as a black bikini top to go with the black/blue tankini bottom (got that? haha). And I WORE the bikini. Oh yes, I wore that sucker. I rocked it. I may not be perfect. I may have some stretch marks and a nice big vertical c-section scar. But I am proud of my hard work, and felt confident enough to go for it. It's not like it was some tiny triangle top. It provided good coverage. The bottoms didn't sit too far down. It was actually really perfect for me, without scaring others away yet still making me feel comfortable. Okay, but here is a confession - I mostly wore it in the mornings, before the days meals and drinks had a chance to "bloat me up" too much.

So there you have it. A great vacation, filled with confidence and the ability to physically do whatever I wanted to do, with no worries or paranoia. We swam, shelled, lounged, ate good food and drank cold tropical drinks, did a 6-hour private charter fishing trip during which my hubby caught a 400+ lb "Goliath Grouper" (along with plenty of other smaller fish for us both), we went para-sailing and saw a shark from up above, saw dolphins and a sea turtle, saw some beautiful scenery...it was a wonderful vacation.

Following are a couple of vacation pics. Just a couple from my phone - we haven't taken any off of our camera yet.

Starting out with a drink at the airport

One of my favorite pics from the vacation

Para-sailing!

Nothing like an beach sunset at the ocean.

Starfish everywhere!

A bird feeding one evening before sunset

First day, right after we arrived. Checking out the scenery.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

One of the many challenges with losing weight, is that every person and situation is different. Even for one single person, situations and moods change - and you have to be willing to be flexible and make changes in your routine as needed, in order to grow with your environment or battle the current hurdles you face.

When I first started my journey, I was working a ton of overtime. Generally my work weeks were about 60-70 hours. Plus of course, I also have 2 young kids as well as a husband who also worked extra hours in addition to the regular 40. Making time and prioritizing were not easy, but I figured it out.

Then things changed. The overtime died down. But I started Grad School. This kept me busy too, but at different times and in different ways. That affected the approach I took and the routine I had.

Then things changed again (imagine that). We moved because my husband had a job offer he could not refuse, for what was basically his dream job. I quit my old job and stayed home with my younger daughter (the older is in Kindergarten) while I looked for something new. Being a stay at home mom brought with it altogether new challenges. While I now had time for working out like never before, I also now had constant access to all the food in the house.

Through it all, I've been able to adjust, and that is part of why I feel I've been successful. Even when it took a few weeks, I was able to adjust and continue down the path to success. I know there are people who thought, oh of course you lost weight, you worked 70 hours a week and never had time to EAT! Or, of course your losing weight, you go to the gym 5 days a week because you are a stay at home mom. Well, yes. But that is not the only thing there is to it, and throughout all these various life circumstances I have shown that I can do it. I will do what it takes to make it work, even when it's not easy - which it almost NEVER is!

And now, I am about to embark on yet another big change - I officially have a new job! I start next Wednesday. So now, I am going from stay at home mom, back to working mom. And I've been a working mom before, but that was a very different place and a different environment - this will be an all new environment and culture to get used to. My old work had 1000 people in my building, and the company employs 90,000 people. A big company, right?  My new company is small. Not "tiny", but the numbers are in the 100's instead of 1000's, and most of them are not in the office I will be in. This "small office" thing will be totally new to me. No more onsite Cafe' with great healthy choices available. So, I am going to have to adjust all over again, to a new environment, culture and situation - and figure out how to adjust so that I can continue to be successful in my weight loss/maintenance.

Thankfulness

In honor of Thanksgiving this week, I figured I should do a "Thankful" blog post.

Of course, I am thankful for typical things...my kids, my husband, my other family, my friends, my pets. This year, I am thankful for the amazing job opportunity which presented itself to my husband. It has been one of the top 3 best decisions of our lives. He loves his job, we love our new city, our kids are happy. Our future as a family is very bright. I am in Grad School with some amazing future possibilities. Yes, I am thankful for all of this - I am truly blessed.

But being that this blog is about my weight loss and fitness journey, what I really want to talk about is all of the things I am thankful for related to that. Two years ago at this time, I weighed 227 lbs and wore a size 22. I had no confidence. I was uncomfortable in my own skin, and I was always exhausted. I breathed hard just going up the stairs in my own home. I hated to have my picture taken, even with my kids. Shopping sounded like torture...not only because of the limited cute stuff in my size, but because no matter how well something fit and how cute it looked on the rack, I still felt like crap once I had it on. Not to mention trying on clothing was tiring. Seriously - trying on a few outfits in a fitting room felt like a marathon. Who wants to feel exhausted, just for trying on some clothing that isn't what you love and doesn't make you feel good anyhow? It was depressing.

Now - I weigh 146 (that was this morning's weigh-in) and I wear a size 8. Best of all, I feel healthy and fit.
And I am thankful for countless things...some shallow, some not.

I am thankful for my health - Yes...most people who have their health, are thankful for it...but it means something even more to me. I was on a destructive path that could only have ended in various negative health effects. But no more!
I am thankful for my body and all the amazing things it can do. Things I never knew or thought it could do, like running 13 miles without stopping.
I am thankful for running
I am thankful to know I can be a positive role model for my children
I am thankful for being viewed as an "inspiration" to others
I am thankful to not feel exhausted all the time
I am thankful for being a size 8 and being able to wear a MEDIUM in many cases.
I am thankful for feeling confident - I have done/am doing countless things that I never would have done before, such as going to Grad School, organizing a virtual 5k in collaboration with a local Zoo, leading running groups, and trying Zumba.
I am thankful for being comfortable being in pictures now, especially pictures with my kids.
I am thankful for people who are brave enough to talk to me about my experience, tell me "great job", or ask questions. I am not shy about this. I want to share so I can help others.
I am thankful for being able to shock the hell out of people when they haven't seen me or heard anything of me in years. "Holy crap, since when was she NOT overweight/obese? Say what, she has run half marathons? That can't be the same person I remember..." I am especially thankful for this when the person was somebody who was ever less-than-nice to me. That sounds bad but I don't care. It's kind of like a nice big EFF YOU to those people.
I am thankful that I was able to find the courage and motivation and determination to start my journey
I am thankful that I have been able to keep it up over a long period of time
I am thankful for the support and positive encouragement I have received from my friends and family throughout my journey.
I am thankful for my husband and his positive influence, support, encouragement and love. I am not sure I could have been as successful without him.

Wow. I could go on and on with the things I am thankful for. I am honestly bursting with thankfulness this Thanksgiving. You could probably see it coming out of my ears. My life has changed so completely, in so many ways... I still sometimes can't wrap my head around it. I sound like such a sap...sorry.

What health-related things are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? No matter where you are in your journey, I know there is something. Maybe you are just starting your journey, but yesterday you parked at the far end of the parking lot yesterday and successfully made the long trek inside. Even THAT is something to be thankful for!

So what are you thankful for? Ready, set, GO!

Taking requests

I post frequently about motivation, honesty, blah blah blah. This is great stuff. Stuff I am passionate about. These are the things that I believe are key components of healthy, successful weight loss.

But today I ask, what would YOU like to see me post about? Do you have any suggestions or burning questions? No need to be shy. You can even post your comment anonymously. You can shoot me a private message on Facebook. 

I just want ideas and suggestions. I started this blog as a tool for my own weight loss, but it has become much more than that. It is still an essential part of my success, because it keeps me focused and accountable. But now, it has grown into a vehicle for inspiration. I have an audience, and I am quite excited about the idea of being able to help others. I personally LOVE following other people's journeys and reading about their success. There are SO many amazing stories out there - each one unique and with it's own set of circumstances, struggles, and knowledge gained - and I feel a real pull to make sure my own story is included among them.

So please. Ask away. If there is a subject you want me to tackle with my honest opinion and experience, let me know. I will answer just about anything to the best of my ability - keeping in mind I am no professional. Just a person who has had some success, struggles and is willing to share.

The inner fatty

First of all, let's be honest. No - I'm not saying "inner fatty" to be mean. But come on. If you are reading weight loss blogs, you probably have one. I have one. I will always have one, no matter what my outer appearance is or how fit I am. I will always have an inner fatty, lurking and waiting to pounce. It is my inner fatty that makes temptations so HARD to resist!

So - you're out to eat with some friends, and the menu is screaming at you. "CHECK OUT THESE NACHOS, BABY!! I'VE GOT THE CHEESIEST CHEESE STICKS AROUND! GO AHEAD! TRY MY TRIPLE DECKER MUSHROOM SWISS BURGER WITH ONION RINGS!!"

Or maybe you are at the end of a meal, regardless of whether you made a healthy choice or not, and now the dilemma presents: Should I order one of those Triple Chocolate Fudge brownies that looks ever so delicious on the dessert menu?

Maybe you are with friends (or on your own) and somebody (or yourself) suggests hitting up Five Guys for a burger. How about when your work environment constantly has doughnuts available? Or when there is a pot luck going on every other day for one reason or another?

Nobody is perfect. Even the most successful "losers" have given in...probably multiple or dozens of times during their journey. I know I sure have! I have an especial weakness for wine, which really is just a bunch of needless liquid calories. But I truly enjoy wine. Ummm, and doughnuts. And chocolate. And mushroom swiss burgers. And nachos and onion rings and mozzarella sticks. Mmm, and pizza. Oh, and most crappy food in general. (Can we say, HELLO inner fatty!!)
 
But once you learn how to say "no", it does get easier. You get used to it. You become proud of yourself for being strong. You learn what techniques work best for you. You can absolutely figure out how to tell your inner fatty to STFU!! You CAN win the war with your inner fatty!

But how? Here are a few of my tips. First, avoidance. If I can, I try to avoid a situation where I know crazy temptation will be. This won't always be possible, but for example - at my previous work place, I knew there were doughnuts available in a certain spot every Friday morning. I normally walked by that spot daily because it was the most direct route from place A to place B...but on Fridays, I would purposely take a different way, just to avoid even seeing the doughnut table. This might work with fast food places - if you go by one on your way to work and find yourself stopping too often - take a different way! Even if it means a few minute longer drive, who cares. You will save the time not waiting in line, you will save money not buying the crap, and most importantly you will save your health! When it comes down to it, your inner fatty can't rear his/her ugly head if you don't give her a chance to.

Another good one is distraction. This is easier said than done, but if there is a pot luck going on, contribute a healthy dish and encourage others to do the same. Then make a beeline for those healthy dishes, load up, and try to avoid the less-healthy options. Just distract yourself from the junk, with a plate full of healthy! Or if you find yourself sitting at your desk, craving one of those doughnuts that you know are lurking around the corner - chew some gum. Not only might it distract you, but even if not - a doughnut will taste like shit with a minty mouth :-) If you are at home, feeling munchy - go for a walk. Play with your kids. Read a good book. Just do something that you can get into, and that will help you forget your craving.

I love to look up calories! For example, there are 840 calories in a cheeseburger from Five Guys and another 310 in HALF an order of regular sized fries. Now think about that for a minute - how hard you work every other day. Maybe you exercise your butt off, or count calories...think about how this one meal (which will be over before you know it) is going to derail all of that hard work! I actually did this with Five Guys myself once...I was with a large group of people who mostly wanted Five Guys for lunch. Everyone ordered, I did not. Instead, when we got back to the house, I had some broiled garlic shrimp. It was delicious, and I saved 1000+ calories! TAKE THAT, INNER FATTY!

Planning is important! Maybe you are going out to eat...check out the menu ahead of time. Plan out what you are going to order and figure it into your daily calories. Then when you get there, stick with the plan.

Weigh yourself as little or as often as you need to in order to keep your inner fatty from getting out of control. Some people prefer to weigh in only once a week or once a month. Or even not at all, instead going off of inches or how their clothes are fitting. For me, more frequent weigh ins work best. I like to see the fluctuations and I like how I have gotten to know my body and how various things affect it. It helps me to plan and gauge my progress. I don't freak over the short term patterns...I only record my weight once a week, for example. But if I see that my pasta binge one night caused 2 lbs of water weight gain the next day, I might try extra hard to drink more water to flush out the bloat.

Keep sight of your goals and motivations. Write them down. Blog them. Put pictures on the fridge. Whatever it takes - just always "keep your eye on the prize". Before you down a 1500 calorie junk meal, ask yourself, is this short term happiness going to be worth it? What do I want more, this greasy food, or my health? If you answer the smart way, your inner fatty will die a little inside ;-)

Do you have any tips for beating the inner fatty? I'd love to hear them!

The progression of my Fluffy blog.

I was just thinking, how different my blog is today than it was when I first started it in January 2011. Back then, I was nervous and scared. I weighed 227 lbs and wore a size 22...and although I wanted to change, deep down I wasn't sure it was possible. My initial goal weight was 150, which sounded like a ridiculous and lofty goal. My posts were (understandably) concentrated on the progress I was making (or sometimes, the lack of progress). I never imagined that I would become FIT on top of "average weight". Oh, and I was embarrassed. Yes, I took the step to start a blog and share it with friends, but it took a long time to fess up to my starting weight. I also wasn't interested in sharing beyond my social circle on Facebook.

Now, I am excited and confident. Active and healthy. I've been down to a low of 142 lbs, and had some ups and downs putting me at a current 149 (as of 2 days ago) and now back on track to get to goal (135). I wear a solid size 8, occasionally a 6. I continue to be determined and motivated to see this through to the end and beyond. I am fit - I can run a half marathon! My posts are more varied...going over my progress but also issues I have found important along my journey. I am thinking more and more long term rather than purely the present. I know my goals are never impossible, if I put my mind to it, and so I don't worry as much about what I am right now - instead, I look forward to what I will be. I am not ashamed to tell my beginning weight or size, because it's part of who I am and how far I've come. I love sharing and inspiring and motivating other people. I get a lot of positive feedback and I actively promote my blog and EOTF Facebook page, in hopes of reaching more people like myself. People who are starting out miserable, scared, nervous, and doubtful. 

So while this started out as a tool to help me stay accountable and reach a seemingly impossible goal...it has turned into much more. It has developed into a passion! Plus, how cool is it that my life has changed so completely, and in this blog, I have a detailed record of that whole transition!

To anybody else who wants to start their own journey, or who is in the middle of it - I highly recommend trying a blog. Even if you only share it with a few close friends or family members at first. It truly can be a wonderful tool in your path to success.

And if you already have a blog - please comment below and share it. I love to read the blogs of others in the same boat as myself. I may love to inspire and motivate, but I certainly love to BE inspired and motivated, as well.

Pants

I kept one pair of pants from "before" and I've been meaning to put them on for awhile now. You may have seen this pic on Facebook but here it is anyhow - I love it! I highly recommend getting rid of all your big clothing, except keep ONE item for future comparisons and pics like this :-)

Old pant size: 22! Current pant size: 8 (or a 6, on a good day in the right brand).

Skinny

I thought I saw somewhere that the average model is something like 25% thinner than the average american woman. And a LOT of models have a BMI that would qualify them as being underweight.

Of course, for the average woman, there is no danger of ever being underweight...more of us are battling the weight loss game or trying to maintain our average weights... but these are the standards society is thrusting in our faces at every turn. So when you are aiming to lose weight, it can be easy to focus on wanting to simply be "thin" rather than focusing also, on your health. After all, "thin is in".

As for the ridiculous hair styles sometimes seen, let's not even go there.

Guess what. I want to look hot in a swimsuit as much as the next woman. But first of all, being a stick with bones jutting out in awkward places, and having no boobs, is not hot. Guess what else? I would much rather be a size 10, but strong and fit, than to be a size 0 and have no energy or strength. I wonder how many of these super skinny models could run long distances? Not many, considering they don't have the fuel for it in their bodies. These models are skinny-fat - and that is not where it's at.

I want to look great, be healthy, and have the strength, power and fitness to accomplish amazing things. Our bodies are capable of so much if we just treat them properly and put in the work - why would I throw that away for a flat chest and a bony ass?

*Disclaimer: I do realize there are occasions where women are underweight and honestly struggle to put weight on, just as overweight women struggle to lose it. I am absolutely NOT talking about these women and firmly believe they deserve all the same respect as an overweight person, or any person. My point is geared towards the super, ridiculously skinny models who are getting paid millions to keep their calorie intake low and their BMI even lower. I also understand there may be other factors at work - mental struggles and such. I don't mean to bang on these women personally, because I'm not in their shoes and don't know what's going on in their heads or lives. What I DO bang on, is how society is allowing this to appear as a standard. If consumers buy it and feed off of it, it won't go away. There are some great campaigns out there, such as the Dove Love your Body one and their movement for self esteem. I wish we would see more of this, including in the high fashion industry. Why can sample sizes be in the 6-12 range rather than the 00-4 range? Why can't the models be fit and curvy? Why, why why?

What are your thoughts on the super skinny models and companies that use them to promote their goods?

Diet vs Exercise

You can exercise all you want...if you eat like crap, you will not see the level of success that you would if you paired your hard work with healthy eating habits. I have seen it over and over again in myself. There have been times where I have let my diet slide (diet in the sense of what I eat, not an actual "I'm on a diet" kind of diet) but worked out hard, and seen absolutely NO movement on the scale. For weeks on end, even. When I was new at this, I was a little puzzled...how could I be working this hard and sweating like a pig, yet not losing any weight?! But once I was honest with myself (again, there's that damn honesty piece popping up), I realized that what I put in my mouth was not healthy or conducive to losing weight or getting fit. As soon as I started watching what I put in my mouth and concentrating on eating quality foods in decent quantities...the weight started coming off again.



So when you get stuck, make sure you take a good look at your habits - are you working your butt off at the gym, only to negate all that hard work with chinese take out, pizza, donuts and soda? Don't be surprised then, that you aren't seeing much progress. Even if you must take small steps towards a better diet, it's better than nothing. Keep working at matching your diet to your exercise, and success will come. You just can't give up, because these things take time. A whole lot of agonizing, frustrating time. Time that is worth it in the end!



REMEMBER: Your exercise is only as efficient as your diet allows it to be.

A quarter

If I had a penny for every pound I have lost....I would now have a whole quarter :-)

I am SO excited, and I did a little experiment to get there so I am glad that I have increased my knowledge. I found through trial and error that I am more likely to lose weight after days that I eat more calories (not a ton, but more, and healthy). On days that I have tried to be super strict, I am more likely to just stay the same. That isn't always the case, but it does seem to be a little of a trend. I imagine that with my exercise, my metabolism has improved and it takes a few more calories to fuel my body now. When I don't eat enough calories to compensate, the pounds all talk to each other saying "screw this, let's hold on for dear life, she NEEDS us, she is starving!"

At least, this is my theory.

Weight and treadmill update

So you might notice I haven't updated my weight in a few days. It is because I simply haven't weighed myself...I think I will tonight though, and see what 3 1/2 days of not weighing myself did. If I am down a couple pounds, I might stick with weighing myself every few days. If I am the same, or went up, I will go back to weighing every day (because like I have said before, seeing a gain motivates me to work harder, even if I know the gain is small and likely just due to fluid or whatever). Anyhow..yah...I will update on the weight later.

Hubby and I went and looked at treadmills today, and found one we liked and agreed on. It isn't the one I posted before, but the same brand and slightly "nicer". I don't know if it would be considered like a "level up" or whatever...but it is just like the one I posted before only the incline goes to 15% instead of 12%, it has some cool shock cushioning system, pre-set workouts, and some other minor details. I also like the display better. I would have been fine with either one, but hubby routinely uses all the way up to 15% incline at the gym, so he really wanted that in a treadmill at home as long as it wasn't too much more expensive.

So here it is: The Nordic Track C900. It is out of stock but we are going this afternoon to order it, and it will be in around February 14th.