I've been successful. I am not at "goal" but I am close, and I've been maintaining the loss I've had so far. It's been 2.5 years now since I started my journey. The journey will continue until I die. Why?
THE INNTER FATTIE (cue dramatic music)
Because I will ALWAYS have that "inner fattie". I may look different than I used to, and my lifestyle may be different - but I will always have that inner fat girl inside. I will always struggle to control over-eating and indulging in "junk" too often. I totally believe in balance, so I certianly don't cut anything out - but I will always struggle with eating just one doughnut instead of 3. It doesn't matter if I'm not hungry. It doesn't matter if my stomach is bloated and I am feeling a little too full...once I start, I will always want to keep going. It's something that a lot of people cannot understand unless they, too, struggle with it or have struggled with it. And I am sure it sounds ridiculous to those who have not experienced it.
Honestly, it sounds ridiculous to me, too. Why would I eat a box of cereal? Why would anyone want to eat pasta until they felt like they were going to explode? Who would eat frosting out of a can daily until the can was gone and it needed to be replaced for it's intended use on a cake (which of course promptly gets eaten in less than 2 days). Who eats a bag of chips, with dip, by themselves?
I don't know, but I know I admit to having done all of those things in my lifetime, so I understand others who have done it, too. And many won't admit it, but I think it's actually pretty common. And it can be painfully hard to overcome. For me, personally, taking ownership of it was a big part of the process. YES. I ate like crap. I binged. And of course, nobody binges on salads and veggies. And guess what else? It was nobody's fault but my own. Screw the excuses, it was ALL ME. And I was the only person who could fix it.
So yes. I will always struggle because my inner fattie is a part of me....she will always be lurking in the background - I am just learning how to better control her these days.
But now for the second part of my post - why I like running and how it helps and will continue to help battle my inner fatty and all of my old habits. Growing up, I hated gym. I hated sports. For many reasons, but one being that I just did not have the competitive nature necessary for team sports. And kids in school can be nasty. You miss a shot playing basketball and it was like the world was about to shatter! So, I grew up HATING sports and gym class in particular. I would have preferred torture with 24 hours of polka music while locked in an empty room by myself.
But I needed something active to do in order to help the weight loss journey. To get fit and healthy. Running is PERFECT. You do not have to compete against anybody but yourself - and even then, only if you want to. Some people love just heading out and running - no timer, no thoughts about pace. Just running. That is awesome!! I started out that way, and have evolved to be a bit competitive - with my own times. I love pushing myself to improve my last time. And I love that it does not matter what anyone else does, and nobody else is affected by what I do. It's all me. There will always be people faster, and always be people slower, and it doesn't matter! Running is so all-inclusive. You're a runner, whether you run 12 minute miles or 7 minute miles.
Bonus - I can do it with others or alone. I can get lost in my own thoughts or just zone out. I can step out my door and go, or drive to other areas or trails to explore. I just need a good pair of shoes and some work out clothes! And when I've been running regularly, my eating habits naturally get better, without even thinking about it. Who wants to ruin a good running streak with a bunch of junk food? And who wants to run, feeling all weighed down by a bloated stomach because you ate too much crap? It's perfect motivation to eat well, and eating well is a perfect motivation to run. For me, they now go hand in hand. I am a runner now, and I intend to stay that way - because it has become a key element of my continued health and weight loss/maintenance success.
I can EASILY see myself gaining all of my weight back and probably then some, if I don't stay active.