Getting back in my groove

Ok so I confess: I've been slacking. This isn't to say I've done "bad". I've mostly maintained my weight loss and I've stayed fairly active. I'm not unhappy with myself at all. But last year, I struggled all summer with a few extra pounds and feeling just a little less fit than I felt the summer before. I still managed an awesome (for me) 5k PR in September. I ran a decent (for me) time in a half marathon on an unfamiliar, hilly course in 100 degree heat. 

But my average pace for the summer was not what it could have been. I was several minutes slower in my June half marathon than I had been the previous year. And like I said, my weight was just a few pounds up, and of course that got a little worse over these last few winter months. Nothing extreme - I've been able to wear my same clothing. It fit just a little tighter though.

Summer is coming. This means less clothing. Swimming. Race season. I really want to get back to where I was, fitness wise, 2 summers ago. I want a shiny new half marathon PR; even better would be a shiny new PR close to the 2:00 mark. Inevitably, a few pounds and inches will come off just by working to get to that fitness level.

What better time to get serious and back on track, than now? I've got my Fitbit. I already posted about how in love I am with it. It has really helped keep me motivated. I've been getting up early most weekdays to run, do free weights or floor exercises, or walk. And the best part is, now that it's becoming a habit, it is getting way easier to do. Which is great, because as soon as the weather allows, I'll be taking some of my runs outside, at 5 am with buddies. I need to be used to the early wake up call!

I've also been working on finding a balance with my nutrition. Eating healthier while still living my life and enjoying my wine, cheese, and the occasional junk meal or dessert. For example, I've been eating "clean" 95% of the time over the last 2 weeks. Lots of veggies, lean protein, and fruit. But Friday was our monthly Chinese food day at work. I loaded my plate, and surely ate plenty of calories and an ungodly amount of sodium....but I did at least stick to mostly veggie/meat dishes rather than fried things like sweet and sour chicken, fried rice or (omg yum) egg rolls. It was still a splurge...hello sauce? Oh hi, MSG! But I felt okay about it. 

Then on Saturday night, hubby and I had date night. I ordered salad , steamed shrimp...and fries. I also had dessert. But I had run 5 miles that morning, and got right back on track the next day. The toughest thing is to abide by splurges being splurges, not splurges being life!! 

Last night, my older daughter had Girl Scouts and it was our turn to bring snack. We brought chocolate chip cookies. Big delicious ones. And there were left overs. 5 years ago, I would have had a few last night. Probably a few more this morning. But not anymore!! Am I insane enough to completely shun a chocolate chip cookie? HELL NO. But I didn't have one last night (it was after 8pm by the time I had a chance). I had it this morning, with my coffee. Then I brought the remaining cookies to my work break room. I work with 99% men so they'll take care of those pesky cookies in a flash :-)

For all of this effort over the last...oh, 10 days or so....I've lost a couple pounds, I have less bloating, I'm getting my "guns" back, my legs are getting stronger, and I just feel better in general. I forgot how good it can feel to be this active! Best of all, I feel like I'm getting back in the groove, which is the hardest part. Last year I went through the motions. I did fine. But I never truly felt like I was in my groove. I feel like this is...the grooviest? that I have felt since the summer/fall of 2013. 

Happy Monday!!

I had SUCH a great weekend, starting with awesome news on Friday afternoon.

Then, Friday evening, my best friend and her family arrived from 3+ hours away to stay the weekend. PLUS we finally got a beautiful new dining room table (it has 3 extra leaves which store inside the table when not in use, and 8 chairs total) and my friend and I put it to good use, gathering around it until the wee hours of the morning chatting and laughing. We had a fun weekend, including taking our families to the aquarium at the Mall of America. 

On Sunday, they headed home and I got the house cleaned up and did some homework, while hubby got our wood-burning fireplace going for the first time since we bought our house in August. Aaaah, nothing like the smell of a real wood-burning fireplace on a chilly night. 

To top it off, on Saturday I received my IR4 match, after being on the waiting list for 2 months. I can't wait to dedicate my miles to "M", an 8 year old boy with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, from here on out!!! (If you'd like to learn more about IR4, check it out at www.whoirun4.com).

As far as my weight goes, I was thrilled to weigh in this morning and find that I did not gain over the weekend. Holding steady at 4 lbs lost since starting operation lose 15. This is really something, since I didn't work out this weekend and did not eat the healthiest foods/drinks this weekend. Now it's Monday - back on track, including a planned workout tonight (with my miles run or walked in honor of my new IR4 buddy!!)

The week is sure to fly by and we've got another busy weekend ahead, with my parents coming from 4 hours away to stay with us, and having our early thanksgiving with them (since my mom works on Thanksgiving itself as well as the following weekend). 

Why I'll always struggle, and why/how running will help.

I've been successful. I am not at "goal" but I am close, and I've been maintaining the loss I've had so far. It's been 2.5 years now since I started my journey. The journey will continue until I die. Why?

THE INNTER FATTIE (cue dramatic music)

Because I will ALWAYS have that "inner fattie". I may look different than I used to, and my lifestyle may be different - but I will always have that inner fat girl inside. I will always struggle to control over-eating and indulging in "junk" too often. I totally believe in balance, so I certianly don't cut anything out - but I will always struggle with eating just one doughnut instead of 3. It doesn't matter if I'm not hungry. It doesn't matter if my stomach is bloated and I am feeling a little too full...once I start, I will always want to keep going. It's something that a lot of people cannot understand unless they, too, struggle with it or have struggled with it. And I am sure it sounds ridiculous to those who have not experienced it.

Honestly, it sounds ridiculous to me, too. Why would I eat a box of cereal? Why would anyone want to eat pasta until they felt like they were going to explode? Who would eat frosting out of a can daily until the can was gone and it needed to be replaced for it's intended use on a cake (which of course promptly gets eaten in less than 2 days). Who eats a bag of chips, with dip, by themselves?

I don't know, but I know I admit to having done all of those things in my lifetime, so I understand others who have done it, too. And many won't admit it, but I think it's actually pretty common. And it can be painfully hard to overcome. For me, personally, taking ownership of it was a big part of the process. YES. I ate like crap. I binged. And of course, nobody binges on salads and veggies. And guess what else? It was nobody's fault but my own. Screw the excuses, it was ALL ME. And I was the only person who could fix it.

So yes. I will always struggle because my inner fattie is a part of me....she will always be lurking in the background - I am just learning how to better control her these days.

But now for the second part of my post - why I like running and how it helps and will continue to help battle my inner fatty and all of my old habits. Growing up, I hated gym. I hated sports. For many reasons, but one being that I just did not have the competitive nature necessary for team sports. And kids in school can be nasty. You miss a shot playing basketball and it was like the world was about to shatter! So, I grew up HATING sports and gym class in particular. I would have preferred torture with 24 hours of polka music while locked in an empty room by myself.

But I needed something active to do in order to help the weight loss journey. To get fit and healthy. Running is PERFECT. You do not have to compete against anybody but yourself - and even then, only if you want to. Some people love just heading out and running - no timer, no thoughts about pace. Just running. That is awesome!! I started out that way, and have evolved to be a bit competitive - with my own times. I love pushing myself to improve my last time. And I love that it does not matter what anyone else does, and nobody else is affected by what I do. It's all me. There will always be people faster, and always be people slower, and it doesn't matter! Running is so all-inclusive. You're a runner, whether you run 12 minute miles or 7 minute miles.

Bonus - I can do it with others or alone. I can get lost in my own thoughts or just zone out. I can step out my door and go, or drive to other areas or trails to explore. I just need a good pair of shoes and some work out clothes! And when I've been running regularly, my eating habits naturally get better, without even thinking about it. Who wants to ruin a good running streak with a bunch of junk food? And who wants to run, feeling all weighed down by a bloated stomach because you ate too much crap? It's perfect motivation to eat well, and eating well is a perfect motivation to run. For me, they now go hand in hand. I am a runner now, and I intend to stay that way - because it has become a key element of my continued health and weight loss/maintenance success.

I can EASILY see myself gaining all of my weight back and probably then some, if I don't stay active.

And there was movement!

After being stuck since August....so....6 months... I FINALLY lost! My weight this morning was 140.4, putting me at just about 87 lbs lost. So close to being in the 130's, and so close to 90 lbs total... AAAAH!!! There was a point in time...well for much of my life, that it was unfathomable to me that I would ever be a normal, healthy weight. Now I'm staring the 130's in the face. I really wish I could remember what I weighed as a kid or young teenager. The farthest back I can remember is when I was 15/16...I wore a size 13 and weighed probably around 160? I wish I knew. Perhaps the last time I was 140 lbs was when I was, I don't know...12? And for 12, 140 lbs wasn't a good thing.

Why did I lose all of a sudden? I have 2 gueses. These are the 2 big things I've been doing differently. First of all, I've been drinking more water. Second, I have increased my running mileage. Same thing happened last year after I had been stuck - I started running more this time of year, and the weight started coming off again. Apparently the key for me, is running.

And speaking of running, my mom's running group is going WONDERFULLY. It is growing fast, we are currently at 42 members with more joining almost daily. The feedback has been absolutely amazing. Amazing enough to make me cry at times. There are some awesome ladies in my group who I am thankful to be able to call my friends.

I don't think a lot of local people read my blog, but if so...and you are interested in joining me in Moms RUN This Town (it is very laid back and member driven) all you need to do is REQUEST TO JOIN our Private Facebook group. That is where all of our communication, planning of events, etc. happens.

I also do a blog for potential new members to check us out and for current members to see the latest and greatest about whats going on with us. You can find that HERE.

Reflection

It is hard not to get caught up how many pounds I have left to lose (7 for sure, then a re-evaluation to see how I feel). It is so easy to get frustrated by the fact that I am the same weight now, as I was in August. (That is 6 months without movement, mind you. Besides for gaining and re-losing 10 lbs between September and December). I hate looking at myself in the mirror only to be greeted by a forever-bloated midsection, coupled with some sagging skin on my lower stomach.

So I have to try and remind myself about what is important. I might have a bit of weight left to lose, and I might be completely and totally stuck. And no, my stomach is not a pleasant sight to see (YIKES). But I have put 85 lbs behind me. Better yet, I have become active and healthy. Regardless of the number on the scale - I can work out hard. I do Zumba regularly (thanks for introducing me, Danika!). I can run a half marathon and do a 5k in 27:25. And I've even become a different person in general - doing things and trying things I never would have done or tried before, simply because of my low confidence level.  THOSE are the things I should try to focus on. Why do I (and a lot of people) just focus on the negative? Why is it so hard to celebrate what we've done already or how far we have come? I don't know, but it is. I (and we) should try harder to work on that. We are amazing, whether we are 400 lbs or 100. Whether we are weight-loss success stories or starting the journey. Whether we have failed once before or 1000 times before. We are amazing!!! We have to start remembering that, because I have a feeling it would help us go farther than we even know we can go. It's all about believing in yourself.

Sweat is FAT CRYING!

You've probably heard that saying somewhere along the line. And tonight while I was on the stair climber in the gym, with sweat dripping down my face and running down my arms and back and stomach...I thought of this.

If sweat really was fat crying, then my fat must have been freaking devastated tonight. I love days like this, where I succeed in making healthy food choices all day and then get a good work out in. Can I make it two in a row? I hope so! Today certainly wasn't a "second in a row" - because last night, I had a ridiculous craving for carbs...it turned into a bit of a carb-fest. Not good.

But today, I moved on and redeemed myself!

How were your choices today?

Incredible

The last couple weeks at Zumba has been a girl I can't help but notice.

She's a good 6 feet tall
Not that I'm any good at guessing, but I'd say she weighs over 350. Maybe close to 400?
She is physically unable to do some of the moves
She is surrounded by "skinny" or at least smaller by comparison, people shaking their booties.

Yet she tries. She has come twice in a row now.

She is incredible.

I'm sure she doesn't feel it. She might feel awkward and nervous and uncomfortable and self conscious. She possibly feels like people are looking down on her. Maybe she feels overwhelmed at the journey in front of her.

She is incredible, and she may not even realize it.

She has taken the first step towards better
health...even despite all sorts of factors working against her or excuses she could so easily make.

She.is.incredible.

I wish I could talk to her without coming across as creepy, annoying, pushy or crazy. I wish I could tell her how awesome she is and how great she is doing. I wish I could give her encouragement and hope. I just want to hug her and say "girl, you rock".

She is incredible. I hope she knows.
Let it be an example to all of us. You control your destiny. You choose your own choices. It's up to you to throw out the excuses and say "screw the world, I'm doing this for me and who cares what anyone thinks".

She represents so many...Obese. Overweight. 10 lbs to lose. Wanting to get fit and healthy regardless of weight. She represents it all. I may not have had as much weight to lose as she does, but she is ME. I am HER.

We should always respect and support each other. We have the same goals. The same fears. The same struggles.

We are the same.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

One of the many challenges with losing weight, is that every person and situation is different. Even for one single person, situations and moods change - and you have to be willing to be flexible and make changes in your routine as needed, in order to grow with your environment or battle the current hurdles you face.

When I first started my journey, I was working a ton of overtime. Generally my work weeks were about 60-70 hours. Plus of course, I also have 2 young kids as well as a husband who also worked extra hours in addition to the regular 40. Making time and prioritizing were not easy, but I figured it out.

Then things changed. The overtime died down. But I started Grad School. This kept me busy too, but at different times and in different ways. That affected the approach I took and the routine I had.

Then things changed again (imagine that). We moved because my husband had a job offer he could not refuse, for what was basically his dream job. I quit my old job and stayed home with my younger daughter (the older is in Kindergarten) while I looked for something new. Being a stay at home mom brought with it altogether new challenges. While I now had time for working out like never before, I also now had constant access to all the food in the house.

Through it all, I've been able to adjust, and that is part of why I feel I've been successful. Even when it took a few weeks, I was able to adjust and continue down the path to success. I know there are people who thought, oh of course you lost weight, you worked 70 hours a week and never had time to EAT! Or, of course your losing weight, you go to the gym 5 days a week because you are a stay at home mom. Well, yes. But that is not the only thing there is to it, and throughout all these various life circumstances I have shown that I can do it. I will do what it takes to make it work, even when it's not easy - which it almost NEVER is!

And now, I am about to embark on yet another big change - I officially have a new job! I start next Wednesday. So now, I am going from stay at home mom, back to working mom. And I've been a working mom before, but that was a very different place and a different environment - this will be an all new environment and culture to get used to. My old work had 1000 people in my building, and the company employs 90,000 people. A big company, right?  My new company is small. Not "tiny", but the numbers are in the 100's instead of 1000's, and most of them are not in the office I will be in. This "small office" thing will be totally new to me. No more onsite Cafe' with great healthy choices available. So, I am going to have to adjust all over again, to a new environment, culture and situation - and figure out how to adjust so that I can continue to be successful in my weight loss/maintenance.

Thankfulness

In honor of Thanksgiving this week, I figured I should do a "Thankful" blog post.

Of course, I am thankful for typical things...my kids, my husband, my other family, my friends, my pets. This year, I am thankful for the amazing job opportunity which presented itself to my husband. It has been one of the top 3 best decisions of our lives. He loves his job, we love our new city, our kids are happy. Our future as a family is very bright. I am in Grad School with some amazing future possibilities. Yes, I am thankful for all of this - I am truly blessed.

But being that this blog is about my weight loss and fitness journey, what I really want to talk about is all of the things I am thankful for related to that. Two years ago at this time, I weighed 227 lbs and wore a size 22. I had no confidence. I was uncomfortable in my own skin, and I was always exhausted. I breathed hard just going up the stairs in my own home. I hated to have my picture taken, even with my kids. Shopping sounded like torture...not only because of the limited cute stuff in my size, but because no matter how well something fit and how cute it looked on the rack, I still felt like crap once I had it on. Not to mention trying on clothing was tiring. Seriously - trying on a few outfits in a fitting room felt like a marathon. Who wants to feel exhausted, just for trying on some clothing that isn't what you love and doesn't make you feel good anyhow? It was depressing.

Now - I weigh 146 (that was this morning's weigh-in) and I wear a size 8. Best of all, I feel healthy and fit.
And I am thankful for countless things...some shallow, some not.

I am thankful for my health - Yes...most people who have their health, are thankful for it...but it means something even more to me. I was on a destructive path that could only have ended in various negative health effects. But no more!
I am thankful for my body and all the amazing things it can do. Things I never knew or thought it could do, like running 13 miles without stopping.
I am thankful for running
I am thankful to know I can be a positive role model for my children
I am thankful for being viewed as an "inspiration" to others
I am thankful to not feel exhausted all the time
I am thankful for being a size 8 and being able to wear a MEDIUM in many cases.
I am thankful for feeling confident - I have done/am doing countless things that I never would have done before, such as going to Grad School, organizing a virtual 5k in collaboration with a local Zoo, leading running groups, and trying Zumba.
I am thankful for being comfortable being in pictures now, especially pictures with my kids.
I am thankful for people who are brave enough to talk to me about my experience, tell me "great job", or ask questions. I am not shy about this. I want to share so I can help others.
I am thankful for being able to shock the hell out of people when they haven't seen me or heard anything of me in years. "Holy crap, since when was she NOT overweight/obese? Say what, she has run half marathons? That can't be the same person I remember..." I am especially thankful for this when the person was somebody who was ever less-than-nice to me. That sounds bad but I don't care. It's kind of like a nice big EFF YOU to those people.
I am thankful that I was able to find the courage and motivation and determination to start my journey
I am thankful that I have been able to keep it up over a long period of time
I am thankful for the support and positive encouragement I have received from my friends and family throughout my journey.
I am thankful for my husband and his positive influence, support, encouragement and love. I am not sure I could have been as successful without him.

Wow. I could go on and on with the things I am thankful for. I am honestly bursting with thankfulness this Thanksgiving. You could probably see it coming out of my ears. My life has changed so completely, in so many ways... I still sometimes can't wrap my head around it. I sound like such a sap...sorry.

What health-related things are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? No matter where you are in your journey, I know there is something. Maybe you are just starting your journey, but yesterday you parked at the far end of the parking lot yesterday and successfully made the long trek inside. Even THAT is something to be thankful for!

So what are you thankful for? Ready, set, GO!

My inner fatty craves....cheerios?

My inner fatty strikes again!

Yesterday I had a small lapse, and ended up eating several bowls of Honey-Nut Cheerious. Of all things I could binge on, I chose Cheerios? Seriously? But they were there, and I was craving some carbs. And I am a sucker for cereal. It was like I couldn't stop. I was hungry, damnit!

Only a fatty or former fatty can take a seemingly harmless food and make it into pig-out central.

So I figure I ate 500-600 calories in cereal alone. Yeaaaa, I might even be under-estimating. Luckily for me, it was getting close to lunch time, so I just chalked it up to a strange, early lunch. Then I worked out extra hard at the gym that afternoon. I actually ended up in a decent range for calories for the day when all was said and done. I actually had a good weigh in this morning. Which is great, but it's not really the point.

The point is - it's just another example of how I will be fighting this fight, probably for the rest of my life. I've lost 85lbs (ok, 82, but soon to be back to 85) and changed my life. I know what I need to do and what works for me. I'm happy with my method of madness. Yet still - given the right timing and circumstances, I can easily find myself powerless to resist temptation, even in the form of boring ol' cereal!

What is one strange or not-so-typical item that you have found yourself binging on?

Diet

 So many people ask "What diet did you do? How did you lose the weight?"

I didn't "put myself on a diet". I changed my lifestyle. Putting yourself on a diet implies a plan with an end. You can't "diet" forever, and once the diet is over, even if you did see some success... you will inevitably gain your weight back (and often times even more).

That is why I hate the word "diet". It should be associated with what you eat in general... Instead, it is associated with a temporary change with limitations and rules. It's ridiculous! I'm not speaking out of my ass, either - I've done "diets" in the past. I lost nearly 40 lbs by doing a slightly modified version of Atkins before my wedding in 2004, going from 210 to 172. And I will admit - I felt great. It was wonderful. The problem was, it was impossible to maintain. Even the "maintenance" phase was just not realistic for me in the long term. Plus, my whole journey was centered around losing weight for my wedding, and there was no focus on simply getting healthy. So of course it was temporary. I gained 30 lbs back over the next couple of years. Then I got pregnant and gained another 60! Obviously, that "diet" was successful in the short term...but certainly not for the long term, which is what really matters. I am not saying that absolutely nobody will have or has had success with diets including Atkins. I know there are success stories...but they are not as common as the marketers of the diets would have you believe.

How helpful is it to say "I cannot eat carbs ever again!" Or "Chocolate is off-limits for the next 3 months while I get ready for bikini season!". No! It doesn't have to be that way! Just make overall healthier choices. You can even have a little chocolate - just learn to not go overboard. Be active. Eat a balanced diet and pay attention to portion sizes, especially when you are indulging a little.

Don't put yourself on a diet. Put yourself on a mission to learn about food and make overall good choices that you can maintain for the rest of your life!

I love the saying "Eat to live, don't live to eat". For me, I think changing that mindset has been a huge challenge. It still is. It might always be (thanks to that pesky inner fatty that I've discussed before). But it is so important. You want to eat foods that are healthy and will fuel your body to be the best it can be (and I'm not just talking physically!).

Screw the diets. This can't be a temporary fix or change. It has to be permanent! It has to be about your whole lifestyle. And you CAN do it.

Against the odds - when you lack a support system

Here is a requested post topic.... making it work even when those around you are not completely supportive.

Losing weight is hard. It takes a lot of hard work, motivation, dedication, patience...yeah...it's not just hard. It is CRAZY HARD! I mean, the basic premise is simple. Eat right, exercise. Bam! But that is easier said than done, and the people surrounding you can make or break your spirit when it comes to your journey.

Whether it's a friend, a family member, or a spouse - the way people react to your journey and what they are willing to do (or not do) to help you along the way is very important. Unfortunately, some friends are not understanding. Sometimes, spouses are not willing to make any changes themselves to support you in yours. And you can't change what other people do, only they can. Instead, you are going to have to change how you choose to react to their lack of support.

There are a ton of situations and circumstances where a friend/family member might show a lack of support or confidence in you, and I could blog for hours going over a fraction of them. But really. What it comes down to is that you have to accept that X person is not going to make it easier for you, but you will continue on anyhow. You have to make the choice to ignore them or prove them wrong. Accept that it will be harder than it would be if X person wasn't doing X, or would just start doing X...but know that succeeding anyhow will make reaching your goal, that much sweeter.

Losing weight is about NOT GIVING UP. If you are truly ready and wanting to get healthy, you need to be willing to make the sacrifices necessary. Everyone's struggles are different, and for some people, one of those struggles is bound to be a lack of support. Just think of it as any other roadblock that you need to overcome in your journey, and remain positive that you CAN overcome it! It is all about the outlook you choose to keep. Nobody can make you feel a certain way. You have the power to react the way you want to react.

One last thing - if you find that you have little to no support in your personal or day to day life, you can at least seek support online. There are thousands of online support websites, blogs (like this one), Facebook groups and pages - seek out ones that speak to you and start interacting and following. Let THAT be your support system. It's not as ideal as real-life support, but it certainly can be incredibly helpful.

Taking requests

I post frequently about motivation, honesty, blah blah blah. This is great stuff. Stuff I am passionate about. These are the things that I believe are key components of healthy, successful weight loss.

But today I ask, what would YOU like to see me post about? Do you have any suggestions or burning questions? No need to be shy. You can even post your comment anonymously. You can shoot me a private message on Facebook. 

I just want ideas and suggestions. I started this blog as a tool for my own weight loss, but it has become much more than that. It is still an essential part of my success, because it keeps me focused and accountable. But now, it has grown into a vehicle for inspiration. I have an audience, and I am quite excited about the idea of being able to help others. I personally LOVE following other people's journeys and reading about their success. There are SO many amazing stories out there - each one unique and with it's own set of circumstances, struggles, and knowledge gained - and I feel a real pull to make sure my own story is included among them.

So please. Ask away. If there is a subject you want me to tackle with my honest opinion and experience, let me know. I will answer just about anything to the best of my ability - keeping in mind I am no professional. Just a person who has had some success, struggles and is willing to share.

The inner fatty

First of all, let's be honest. No - I'm not saying "inner fatty" to be mean. But come on. If you are reading weight loss blogs, you probably have one. I have one. I will always have one, no matter what my outer appearance is or how fit I am. I will always have an inner fatty, lurking and waiting to pounce. It is my inner fatty that makes temptations so HARD to resist!

So - you're out to eat with some friends, and the menu is screaming at you. "CHECK OUT THESE NACHOS, BABY!! I'VE GOT THE CHEESIEST CHEESE STICKS AROUND! GO AHEAD! TRY MY TRIPLE DECKER MUSHROOM SWISS BURGER WITH ONION RINGS!!"

Or maybe you are at the end of a meal, regardless of whether you made a healthy choice or not, and now the dilemma presents: Should I order one of those Triple Chocolate Fudge brownies that looks ever so delicious on the dessert menu?

Maybe you are with friends (or on your own) and somebody (or yourself) suggests hitting up Five Guys for a burger. How about when your work environment constantly has doughnuts available? Or when there is a pot luck going on every other day for one reason or another?

Nobody is perfect. Even the most successful "losers" have given in...probably multiple or dozens of times during their journey. I know I sure have! I have an especial weakness for wine, which really is just a bunch of needless liquid calories. But I truly enjoy wine. Ummm, and doughnuts. And chocolate. And mushroom swiss burgers. And nachos and onion rings and mozzarella sticks. Mmm, and pizza. Oh, and most crappy food in general. (Can we say, HELLO inner fatty!!)
 
But once you learn how to say "no", it does get easier. You get used to it. You become proud of yourself for being strong. You learn what techniques work best for you. You can absolutely figure out how to tell your inner fatty to STFU!! You CAN win the war with your inner fatty!

But how? Here are a few of my tips. First, avoidance. If I can, I try to avoid a situation where I know crazy temptation will be. This won't always be possible, but for example - at my previous work place, I knew there were doughnuts available in a certain spot every Friday morning. I normally walked by that spot daily because it was the most direct route from place A to place B...but on Fridays, I would purposely take a different way, just to avoid even seeing the doughnut table. This might work with fast food places - if you go by one on your way to work and find yourself stopping too often - take a different way! Even if it means a few minute longer drive, who cares. You will save the time not waiting in line, you will save money not buying the crap, and most importantly you will save your health! When it comes down to it, your inner fatty can't rear his/her ugly head if you don't give her a chance to.

Another good one is distraction. This is easier said than done, but if there is a pot luck going on, contribute a healthy dish and encourage others to do the same. Then make a beeline for those healthy dishes, load up, and try to avoid the less-healthy options. Just distract yourself from the junk, with a plate full of healthy! Or if you find yourself sitting at your desk, craving one of those doughnuts that you know are lurking around the corner - chew some gum. Not only might it distract you, but even if not - a doughnut will taste like shit with a minty mouth :-) If you are at home, feeling munchy - go for a walk. Play with your kids. Read a good book. Just do something that you can get into, and that will help you forget your craving.

I love to look up calories! For example, there are 840 calories in a cheeseburger from Five Guys and another 310 in HALF an order of regular sized fries. Now think about that for a minute - how hard you work every other day. Maybe you exercise your butt off, or count calories...think about how this one meal (which will be over before you know it) is going to derail all of that hard work! I actually did this with Five Guys myself once...I was with a large group of people who mostly wanted Five Guys for lunch. Everyone ordered, I did not. Instead, when we got back to the house, I had some broiled garlic shrimp. It was delicious, and I saved 1000+ calories! TAKE THAT, INNER FATTY!

Planning is important! Maybe you are going out to eat...check out the menu ahead of time. Plan out what you are going to order and figure it into your daily calories. Then when you get there, stick with the plan.

Weigh yourself as little or as often as you need to in order to keep your inner fatty from getting out of control. Some people prefer to weigh in only once a week or once a month. Or even not at all, instead going off of inches or how their clothes are fitting. For me, more frequent weigh ins work best. I like to see the fluctuations and I like how I have gotten to know my body and how various things affect it. It helps me to plan and gauge my progress. I don't freak over the short term patterns...I only record my weight once a week, for example. But if I see that my pasta binge one night caused 2 lbs of water weight gain the next day, I might try extra hard to drink more water to flush out the bloat.

Keep sight of your goals and motivations. Write them down. Blog them. Put pictures on the fridge. Whatever it takes - just always "keep your eye on the prize". Before you down a 1500 calorie junk meal, ask yourself, is this short term happiness going to be worth it? What do I want more, this greasy food, or my health? If you answer the smart way, your inner fatty will die a little inside ;-)

Do you have any tips for beating the inner fatty? I'd love to hear them!

The progression of my Fluffy blog.

I was just thinking, how different my blog is today than it was when I first started it in January 2011. Back then, I was nervous and scared. I weighed 227 lbs and wore a size 22...and although I wanted to change, deep down I wasn't sure it was possible. My initial goal weight was 150, which sounded like a ridiculous and lofty goal. My posts were (understandably) concentrated on the progress I was making (or sometimes, the lack of progress). I never imagined that I would become FIT on top of "average weight". Oh, and I was embarrassed. Yes, I took the step to start a blog and share it with friends, but it took a long time to fess up to my starting weight. I also wasn't interested in sharing beyond my social circle on Facebook.

Now, I am excited and confident. Active and healthy. I've been down to a low of 142 lbs, and had some ups and downs putting me at a current 149 (as of 2 days ago) and now back on track to get to goal (135). I wear a solid size 8, occasionally a 6. I continue to be determined and motivated to see this through to the end and beyond. I am fit - I can run a half marathon! My posts are more varied...going over my progress but also issues I have found important along my journey. I am thinking more and more long term rather than purely the present. I know my goals are never impossible, if I put my mind to it, and so I don't worry as much about what I am right now - instead, I look forward to what I will be. I am not ashamed to tell my beginning weight or size, because it's part of who I am and how far I've come. I love sharing and inspiring and motivating other people. I get a lot of positive feedback and I actively promote my blog and EOTF Facebook page, in hopes of reaching more people like myself. People who are starting out miserable, scared, nervous, and doubtful. 

So while this started out as a tool to help me stay accountable and reach a seemingly impossible goal...it has turned into much more. It has developed into a passion! Plus, how cool is it that my life has changed so completely, and in this blog, I have a detailed record of that whole transition!

To anybody else who wants to start their own journey, or who is in the middle of it - I highly recommend trying a blog. Even if you only share it with a few close friends or family members at first. It truly can be a wonderful tool in your path to success.

And if you already have a blog - please comment below and share it. I love to read the blogs of others in the same boat as myself. I may love to inspire and motivate, but I certainly love to BE inspired and motivated, as well.

Sweat pink!

I applied, and was accepted, to be a Sweat Pink Ambassador through Fit Approach. Sweat Pink is a national movement to motivate, inspire, and encourage one another to live a positive, healthy lifestyle. As you can see, I immediately and proudly put my Sweat Pink Ambassador badge up on the blog. I am SUPER excited about this! Upon posting the news on my personal Facebook page, somebody said I should become a personal trainer. A second person promptly agreed.

BAHAHAHAHAA!

No...I am very passionate about health and fitness, but I don't think personal training would be for me. However, I do potentially have interest in becoming a certified running coach some day. It all depends on where life and my own journey take me, I guess.

Speaking of fitness - on tap for today's routine is 3-5 miles on the treadmill at the gym, followed by some time on the elliptical. And of course... exercising my right to vote :-) I hope everyone out there will also be voting. I will not share my political  views on this blog, but I DO have some very passionate opinions, particularly about a specific issue on the ballot in my state today.

Oh, and again back to sweating pink - I will be sweating pink this weekend, at the Diva Dash 5k! I signed up yesterday. After missing out on the Monster Dash 1/2 marathon because my daughter got sick, I was feeling pretty bummed and dying to do SOMETHING. A race, any race. The Diva Dash will be a perfect quick little race to satisfy my urge. Because it will likely be the last one I do in 2012, I am going to put in 100% effort. It is mostly uphill the whole time, and then a sharp downhill at the end. I haven't been training outdoors much, so I am not expecting any kind of PR (current 5k PR is 27:31), however I do want to get under 30 minutes. But no matter what, I think it will be a good time.

Stay tuned next week for results and race report :-)

Pants

I kept one pair of pants from "before" and I've been meaning to put them on for awhile now. You may have seen this pic on Facebook but here it is anyhow - I love it! I highly recommend getting rid of all your big clothing, except keep ONE item for future comparisons and pics like this :-)

Old pant size: 22! Current pant size: 8 (or a 6, on a good day in the right brand).

The gym

Yesterday I was at the gym gettin' my cardio on. (5 mile run and 30 minutes elliptical). I noticed a couple...the guy was on a bike, the woman standing next to him. Every couple of minutes she left to do things like get food, get him a towel, get him water, etc. She hand fed him as he exercised (please note, he did not appear to have any disabilities. His arms and legs were going like crazy and he was sweating like a pig - obviously a very fit man). Occasionally, she jumped on a treadmill behind him for a minute or so. One time, she got on the treadmill, jogged for 15 seconds, then moved over to the next treadmill and walked for a minute, then got off. Then her hubby moved to a treadmill (way further down the line) and the same thing happened. She stood next to him mostly, eating granola bars and energy bars. Occasionally she jumped on a treadmill next to him and walked for a few seconds. Sometimes she switched treadmills. I try not to be a Judgy Mcjudgerpants, but it was definitely kind of strange. Rather, SHE was kind of strange. To each their own, right? lol

So anyhow. Even despite the occasional ass-hats who refuse to wipe down their sweaty, nasty equipment after use...I really love going to the gym. I used to go years ago, and I liked it then...but I am much more motivated and determined now, plus the gym I go to now is way nicer. It's amazing how different they are! I love the childcare at my gym, I love the huge TV screens on all the front walls (each set to a different channel and with closed captioning turned on). I love that the locker rooms don't look like locker rooms - they are really fancy looking and comfortable, with dark wood lockers (all come with a lock that is activated with your membership card) and granite. I love the big array of group fitness class offerings, which are free to members and require no advance sign up or anything. They have boot camps and personal trainers, both of which I wouldn't mind checking out some day as finances allow. There is an on-site spa and cafe. They have a "parents night out" thing every couple of weeks for members to bring their kids for 4 hours of fun while you go out on a date or do whatever. It's just really, really nice. I am SO glad we decided to join and I really miss going when I don't make it for a few days.

What do you enjoy about going to the gym? What are some amenities in your specific gym that you particularly enjoy?

Choices

The plain, hard truth is that you CHOOSE how you react to the hands you are dealt. I need to remind myself of this frequently. In fact, I need to remind myself of this today, hence this post. This is as much of a reminder for me as it is for anyone else reading.

You are not fat just because obesity runs in your family.
You are not fat just because your spouse eats junk constantly but is lucky enough to never gain an ounce.
You are not fat because there is a McDonald's on the way to work each day.
You are not fat because kids teased you in 4th grade.
You are not fat because your school lunches were sub-par growing up.
You are not fat because you have a bad back/sore foot/migraines/insert any physical ailment here.
You are not fat because you are older and your metabolism isn't what it used to be.

*Sigh* I can definitely identify with this.

YES. All of those things (and plenty more) may contribute. They certainly don't help the battle, that is for sure. They can be HARD issues to overcome, and I am not pretending otherwise. BUT. In the end, it is YOU who chooses what to make of your situation.

You choose what to put in your mouth
You choose how active to be
You choose your own priorities
You choose to see the glass as half full or half empty
You choose to be determined...or not.
You choose to follow through...or not.


It is up to YOU how hard you want to fight. 

Happy Halloween!

Having 2 young children is both good and bad for Halloween. On one hand, we are not home on Halloween, so we don't have to buy candy to hand out. Therefore, there is no candy hanging out in our house in the days prior to Halloween.

BUT, then my kids go trick-or-treating. They are both girls, ages 4 and 5. This year they will be the world's cutest little kitty and piggy. Ridiculously cute. Of course, they end up with enough candy to share with all of China. They can't eat it all, nor do I want them to. The obvious solution to this little dilemma, before I was more health-conscious? Eat it!  Better me than them, right?! Well, kind of. But there are other solutions to be considered....




Throw some away. (I know...*GASP*).

Bring it to work!! Set out a jar or bowl on your desk or in a common area.

Simply hit less houses. You can't eat what you don't get.

If you know certain houses/neighborhoods typically give out less junk and/or more healthy options (raisins for example), go with that. Your kids might complain. Tell them to shut it and enjoy their raisins.

Go trick or treating as early as you can, get home early, and then turn around and give some candy back out! (Let your kids pick out some of their favorites to keep).

Make art projects out of the oddball candies (like those hard candy ball things, AKA evil little choking hazards). Glue them together or onto paper. Put them into a decorated bottle and turn them into maracas.

If you are REALLY lucky, maybe you have a kid with a birthday coming up in the very near future - use some candy in goodie bags for the party guests!

I realize some of these present challenges - mainly your kids not wanting to part with ANY of their candy. I don't know about other people, but with my young kids, they never get free access to their candy anyhow. I let them look through it all right away, pick a little something to enjoy right away, and then it gets put up. After that, it's easy peasy to do a little thinning out of the supply. They are so young, that the next time they are picking out a candy from the bowl, they will be concentrated on what they want to pick, and not the fact that their supply has shrunk by 75%. It's sneaky, but it works, and it's for the greater good of all involved :-)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN and BE SAFE!