Getting back in my groove

Ok so I confess: I've been slacking. This isn't to say I've done "bad". I've mostly maintained my weight loss and I've stayed fairly active. I'm not unhappy with myself at all. But last year, I struggled all summer with a few extra pounds and feeling just a little less fit than I felt the summer before. I still managed an awesome (for me) 5k PR in September. I ran a decent (for me) time in a half marathon on an unfamiliar, hilly course in 100 degree heat. 

But my average pace for the summer was not what it could have been. I was several minutes slower in my June half marathon than I had been the previous year. And like I said, my weight was just a few pounds up, and of course that got a little worse over these last few winter months. Nothing extreme - I've been able to wear my same clothing. It fit just a little tighter though.

Summer is coming. This means less clothing. Swimming. Race season. I really want to get back to where I was, fitness wise, 2 summers ago. I want a shiny new half marathon PR; even better would be a shiny new PR close to the 2:00 mark. Inevitably, a few pounds and inches will come off just by working to get to that fitness level.

What better time to get serious and back on track, than now? I've got my Fitbit. I already posted about how in love I am with it. It has really helped keep me motivated. I've been getting up early most weekdays to run, do free weights or floor exercises, or walk. And the best part is, now that it's becoming a habit, it is getting way easier to do. Which is great, because as soon as the weather allows, I'll be taking some of my runs outside, at 5 am with buddies. I need to be used to the early wake up call!

I've also been working on finding a balance with my nutrition. Eating healthier while still living my life and enjoying my wine, cheese, and the occasional junk meal or dessert. For example, I've been eating "clean" 95% of the time over the last 2 weeks. Lots of veggies, lean protein, and fruit. But Friday was our monthly Chinese food day at work. I loaded my plate, and surely ate plenty of calories and an ungodly amount of sodium....but I did at least stick to mostly veggie/meat dishes rather than fried things like sweet and sour chicken, fried rice or (omg yum) egg rolls. It was still a splurge...hello sauce? Oh hi, MSG! But I felt okay about it. 

Then on Saturday night, hubby and I had date night. I ordered salad , steamed shrimp...and fries. I also had dessert. But I had run 5 miles that morning, and got right back on track the next day. The toughest thing is to abide by splurges being splurges, not splurges being life!! 

Last night, my older daughter had Girl Scouts and it was our turn to bring snack. We brought chocolate chip cookies. Big delicious ones. And there were left overs. 5 years ago, I would have had a few last night. Probably a few more this morning. But not anymore!! Am I insane enough to completely shun a chocolate chip cookie? HELL NO. But I didn't have one last night (it was after 8pm by the time I had a chance). I had it this morning, with my coffee. Then I brought the remaining cookies to my work break room. I work with 99% men so they'll take care of those pesky cookies in a flash :-)

For all of this effort over the last...oh, 10 days or so....I've lost a couple pounds, I have less bloating, I'm getting my "guns" back, my legs are getting stronger, and I just feel better in general. I forgot how good it can feel to be this active! Best of all, I feel like I'm getting back in the groove, which is the hardest part. Last year I went through the motions. I did fine. But I never truly felt like I was in my groove. I feel like this is...the grooviest? that I have felt since the summer/fall of 2013. 

Reflection

It is hard not to get caught up how many pounds I have left to lose (7 for sure, then a re-evaluation to see how I feel). It is so easy to get frustrated by the fact that I am the same weight now, as I was in August. (That is 6 months without movement, mind you. Besides for gaining and re-losing 10 lbs between September and December). I hate looking at myself in the mirror only to be greeted by a forever-bloated midsection, coupled with some sagging skin on my lower stomach.

So I have to try and remind myself about what is important. I might have a bit of weight left to lose, and I might be completely and totally stuck. And no, my stomach is not a pleasant sight to see (YIKES). But I have put 85 lbs behind me. Better yet, I have become active and healthy. Regardless of the number on the scale - I can work out hard. I do Zumba regularly (thanks for introducing me, Danika!). I can run a half marathon and do a 5k in 27:25. And I've even become a different person in general - doing things and trying things I never would have done or tried before, simply because of my low confidence level.  THOSE are the things I should try to focus on. Why do I (and a lot of people) just focus on the negative? Why is it so hard to celebrate what we've done already or how far we have come? I don't know, but it is. I (and we) should try harder to work on that. We are amazing, whether we are 400 lbs or 100. Whether we are weight-loss success stories or starting the journey. Whether we have failed once before or 1000 times before. We are amazing!!! We have to start remembering that, because I have a feeling it would help us go farther than we even know we can go. It's all about believing in yourself.

The progression of my Fluffy blog.

I was just thinking, how different my blog is today than it was when I first started it in January 2011. Back then, I was nervous and scared. I weighed 227 lbs and wore a size 22...and although I wanted to change, deep down I wasn't sure it was possible. My initial goal weight was 150, which sounded like a ridiculous and lofty goal. My posts were (understandably) concentrated on the progress I was making (or sometimes, the lack of progress). I never imagined that I would become FIT on top of "average weight". Oh, and I was embarrassed. Yes, I took the step to start a blog and share it with friends, but it took a long time to fess up to my starting weight. I also wasn't interested in sharing beyond my social circle on Facebook.

Now, I am excited and confident. Active and healthy. I've been down to a low of 142 lbs, and had some ups and downs putting me at a current 149 (as of 2 days ago) and now back on track to get to goal (135). I wear a solid size 8, occasionally a 6. I continue to be determined and motivated to see this through to the end and beyond. I am fit - I can run a half marathon! My posts are more varied...going over my progress but also issues I have found important along my journey. I am thinking more and more long term rather than purely the present. I know my goals are never impossible, if I put my mind to it, and so I don't worry as much about what I am right now - instead, I look forward to what I will be. I am not ashamed to tell my beginning weight or size, because it's part of who I am and how far I've come. I love sharing and inspiring and motivating other people. I get a lot of positive feedback and I actively promote my blog and EOTF Facebook page, in hopes of reaching more people like myself. People who are starting out miserable, scared, nervous, and doubtful. 

So while this started out as a tool to help me stay accountable and reach a seemingly impossible goal...it has turned into much more. It has developed into a passion! Plus, how cool is it that my life has changed so completely, and in this blog, I have a detailed record of that whole transition!

To anybody else who wants to start their own journey, or who is in the middle of it - I highly recommend trying a blog. Even if you only share it with a few close friends or family members at first. It truly can be a wonderful tool in your path to success.

And if you already have a blog - please comment below and share it. I love to read the blogs of others in the same boat as myself. I may love to inspire and motivate, but I certainly love to BE inspired and motivated, as well.