Getting back in my groove

Ok so I confess: I've been slacking. This isn't to say I've done "bad". I've mostly maintained my weight loss and I've stayed fairly active. I'm not unhappy with myself at all. But last year, I struggled all summer with a few extra pounds and feeling just a little less fit than I felt the summer before. I still managed an awesome (for me) 5k PR in September. I ran a decent (for me) time in a half marathon on an unfamiliar, hilly course in 100 degree heat. 

But my average pace for the summer was not what it could have been. I was several minutes slower in my June half marathon than I had been the previous year. And like I said, my weight was just a few pounds up, and of course that got a little worse over these last few winter months. Nothing extreme - I've been able to wear my same clothing. It fit just a little tighter though.

Summer is coming. This means less clothing. Swimming. Race season. I really want to get back to where I was, fitness wise, 2 summers ago. I want a shiny new half marathon PR; even better would be a shiny new PR close to the 2:00 mark. Inevitably, a few pounds and inches will come off just by working to get to that fitness level.

What better time to get serious and back on track, than now? I've got my Fitbit. I already posted about how in love I am with it. It has really helped keep me motivated. I've been getting up early most weekdays to run, do free weights or floor exercises, or walk. And the best part is, now that it's becoming a habit, it is getting way easier to do. Which is great, because as soon as the weather allows, I'll be taking some of my runs outside, at 5 am with buddies. I need to be used to the early wake up call!

I've also been working on finding a balance with my nutrition. Eating healthier while still living my life and enjoying my wine, cheese, and the occasional junk meal or dessert. For example, I've been eating "clean" 95% of the time over the last 2 weeks. Lots of veggies, lean protein, and fruit. But Friday was our monthly Chinese food day at work. I loaded my plate, and surely ate plenty of calories and an ungodly amount of sodium....but I did at least stick to mostly veggie/meat dishes rather than fried things like sweet and sour chicken, fried rice or (omg yum) egg rolls. It was still a splurge...hello sauce? Oh hi, MSG! But I felt okay about it. 

Then on Saturday night, hubby and I had date night. I ordered salad , steamed shrimp...and fries. I also had dessert. But I had run 5 miles that morning, and got right back on track the next day. The toughest thing is to abide by splurges being splurges, not splurges being life!! 

Last night, my older daughter had Girl Scouts and it was our turn to bring snack. We brought chocolate chip cookies. Big delicious ones. And there were left overs. 5 years ago, I would have had a few last night. Probably a few more this morning. But not anymore!! Am I insane enough to completely shun a chocolate chip cookie? HELL NO. But I didn't have one last night (it was after 8pm by the time I had a chance). I had it this morning, with my coffee. Then I brought the remaining cookies to my work break room. I work with 99% men so they'll take care of those pesky cookies in a flash :-)

For all of this effort over the last...oh, 10 days or so....I've lost a couple pounds, I have less bloating, I'm getting my "guns" back, my legs are getting stronger, and I just feel better in general. I forgot how good it can feel to be this active! Best of all, I feel like I'm getting back in the groove, which is the hardest part. Last year I went through the motions. I did fine. But I never truly felt like I was in my groove. I feel like this is...the grooviest? that I have felt since the summer/fall of 2013. 

And there was movement!

After being stuck since August....so....6 months... I FINALLY lost! My weight this morning was 140.4, putting me at just about 87 lbs lost. So close to being in the 130's, and so close to 90 lbs total... AAAAH!!! There was a point in time...well for much of my life, that it was unfathomable to me that I would ever be a normal, healthy weight. Now I'm staring the 130's in the face. I really wish I could remember what I weighed as a kid or young teenager. The farthest back I can remember is when I was 15/16...I wore a size 13 and weighed probably around 160? I wish I knew. Perhaps the last time I was 140 lbs was when I was, I don't know...12? And for 12, 140 lbs wasn't a good thing.

Why did I lose all of a sudden? I have 2 gueses. These are the 2 big things I've been doing differently. First of all, I've been drinking more water. Second, I have increased my running mileage. Same thing happened last year after I had been stuck - I started running more this time of year, and the weight started coming off again. Apparently the key for me, is running.

And speaking of running, my mom's running group is going WONDERFULLY. It is growing fast, we are currently at 42 members with more joining almost daily. The feedback has been absolutely amazing. Amazing enough to make me cry at times. There are some awesome ladies in my group who I am thankful to be able to call my friends.

I don't think a lot of local people read my blog, but if so...and you are interested in joining me in Moms RUN This Town (it is very laid back and member driven) all you need to do is REQUEST TO JOIN our Private Facebook group. That is where all of our communication, planning of events, etc. happens.

I also do a blog for potential new members to check us out and for current members to see the latest and greatest about whats going on with us. You can find that HERE.

New found love

I.love.almond.milk! I hadn't tried it until recently, but now that I have - I wish I had sooner. Coconut milk is also very tasty, but I will focus on the almond milk for now.

I bought the Silk brand. The unsweetened variety has just 30 calories per serving! And it is delicious!! I haven't tried the unsweetened vanilla...only the unsweetened original. The unsweetened vanilla will be next on my list. I have tried the sweetened vanilla and it was too sweet for me. I mean it was good, but I prefer the unsweetened original (which is kind of odd being that I generally have a big ol' sweet tooth...but I guess not when it comes to milk)!

Anyhow. If you haven't tried almond milk - go for it. Seriously! I was actually surprised by how much I liked it.

My inner fatty craves....cheerios?

My inner fatty strikes again!

Yesterday I had a small lapse, and ended up eating several bowls of Honey-Nut Cheerious. Of all things I could binge on, I chose Cheerios? Seriously? But they were there, and I was craving some carbs. And I am a sucker for cereal. It was like I couldn't stop. I was hungry, damnit!

Only a fatty or former fatty can take a seemingly harmless food and make it into pig-out central.

So I figure I ate 500-600 calories in cereal alone. Yeaaaa, I might even be under-estimating. Luckily for me, it was getting close to lunch time, so I just chalked it up to a strange, early lunch. Then I worked out extra hard at the gym that afternoon. I actually ended up in a decent range for calories for the day when all was said and done. I actually had a good weigh in this morning. Which is great, but it's not really the point.

The point is - it's just another example of how I will be fighting this fight, probably for the rest of my life. I've lost 85lbs (ok, 82, but soon to be back to 85) and changed my life. I know what I need to do and what works for me. I'm happy with my method of madness. Yet still - given the right timing and circumstances, I can easily find myself powerless to resist temptation, even in the form of boring ol' cereal!

What is one strange or not-so-typical item that you have found yourself binging on?

Diet

 So many people ask "What diet did you do? How did you lose the weight?"

I didn't "put myself on a diet". I changed my lifestyle. Putting yourself on a diet implies a plan with an end. You can't "diet" forever, and once the diet is over, even if you did see some success... you will inevitably gain your weight back (and often times even more).

That is why I hate the word "diet". It should be associated with what you eat in general... Instead, it is associated with a temporary change with limitations and rules. It's ridiculous! I'm not speaking out of my ass, either - I've done "diets" in the past. I lost nearly 40 lbs by doing a slightly modified version of Atkins before my wedding in 2004, going from 210 to 172. And I will admit - I felt great. It was wonderful. The problem was, it was impossible to maintain. Even the "maintenance" phase was just not realistic for me in the long term. Plus, my whole journey was centered around losing weight for my wedding, and there was no focus on simply getting healthy. So of course it was temporary. I gained 30 lbs back over the next couple of years. Then I got pregnant and gained another 60! Obviously, that "diet" was successful in the short term...but certainly not for the long term, which is what really matters. I am not saying that absolutely nobody will have or has had success with diets including Atkins. I know there are success stories...but they are not as common as the marketers of the diets would have you believe.

How helpful is it to say "I cannot eat carbs ever again!" Or "Chocolate is off-limits for the next 3 months while I get ready for bikini season!". No! It doesn't have to be that way! Just make overall healthier choices. You can even have a little chocolate - just learn to not go overboard. Be active. Eat a balanced diet and pay attention to portion sizes, especially when you are indulging a little.

Don't put yourself on a diet. Put yourself on a mission to learn about food and make overall good choices that you can maintain for the rest of your life!

I love the saying "Eat to live, don't live to eat". For me, I think changing that mindset has been a huge challenge. It still is. It might always be (thanks to that pesky inner fatty that I've discussed before). But it is so important. You want to eat foods that are healthy and will fuel your body to be the best it can be (and I'm not just talking physically!).

Screw the diets. This can't be a temporary fix or change. It has to be permanent! It has to be about your whole lifestyle. And you CAN do it.

Against the odds - when you lack a support system

Here is a requested post topic.... making it work even when those around you are not completely supportive.

Losing weight is hard. It takes a lot of hard work, motivation, dedication, patience...yeah...it's not just hard. It is CRAZY HARD! I mean, the basic premise is simple. Eat right, exercise. Bam! But that is easier said than done, and the people surrounding you can make or break your spirit when it comes to your journey.

Whether it's a friend, a family member, or a spouse - the way people react to your journey and what they are willing to do (or not do) to help you along the way is very important. Unfortunately, some friends are not understanding. Sometimes, spouses are not willing to make any changes themselves to support you in yours. And you can't change what other people do, only they can. Instead, you are going to have to change how you choose to react to their lack of support.

There are a ton of situations and circumstances where a friend/family member might show a lack of support or confidence in you, and I could blog for hours going over a fraction of them. But really. What it comes down to is that you have to accept that X person is not going to make it easier for you, but you will continue on anyhow. You have to make the choice to ignore them or prove them wrong. Accept that it will be harder than it would be if X person wasn't doing X, or would just start doing X...but know that succeeding anyhow will make reaching your goal, that much sweeter.

Losing weight is about NOT GIVING UP. If you are truly ready and wanting to get healthy, you need to be willing to make the sacrifices necessary. Everyone's struggles are different, and for some people, one of those struggles is bound to be a lack of support. Just think of it as any other roadblock that you need to overcome in your journey, and remain positive that you CAN overcome it! It is all about the outlook you choose to keep. Nobody can make you feel a certain way. You have the power to react the way you want to react.

One last thing - if you find that you have little to no support in your personal or day to day life, you can at least seek support online. There are thousands of online support websites, blogs (like this one), Facebook groups and pages - seek out ones that speak to you and start interacting and following. Let THAT be your support system. It's not as ideal as real-life support, but it certainly can be incredibly helpful.

When the time is right....

"I'll start tomorrow!"
"I'll start on Monday!"
"I'll start on the 1st of the month!"
"I'll start after Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years..."

I have heard them all and probably used them all. Statements proclaiming when you are finally going to make the changes. But we need to remember some things about timing our weight loss journeys...

First of all, it doesn't matter when you start or when you plan to start - you won't be successful if the time isn't right. By the time being right, I mean you have to be truly ready and willing to make the commitment and sacrifices necessary. If you aren't truly ready for that, it won't matter how you plan your timing.

Second of all, if you truly are ready, then why wait for tomorrow, or Monday, or next month, or after the holiday? Why can't you start NOW, with your next snack or meal? Why can you take a walk, join the gym, buy an exercise video, or try out Wii Fit TODAY? You know what they say, there is no time like the present. SO TRUE!

Finally, try to keep in mind that putting it off is only deepening the problem. Every day that you continue feeding your body junk, is another day of unhealthy. It's making it that much harder to get going. It's making it easier to continue making excuses.

Don't put it off. Make that decision, accept responsibility for where you are, and make the commitment to put in the work to get to where you want to be!!! Trust me - I may have lost a bunch of weight, but it has not been easy. It still isn't easy. I have had to work my butt off. I have made tons of mistakes along the way. I made a mistake this morning! But one thing I do have that I never had in my previous attempts, is healthy motivations and a sense of lifetime commitment.

Diet vs Exercise

You can exercise all you want...if you eat like crap, you will not see the level of success that you would if you paired your hard work with healthy eating habits. I have seen it over and over again in myself. There have been times where I have let my diet slide (diet in the sense of what I eat, not an actual "I'm on a diet" kind of diet) but worked out hard, and seen absolutely NO movement on the scale. For weeks on end, even. When I was new at this, I was a little puzzled...how could I be working this hard and sweating like a pig, yet not losing any weight?! But once I was honest with myself (again, there's that damn honesty piece popping up), I realized that what I put in my mouth was not healthy or conducive to losing weight or getting fit. As soon as I started watching what I put in my mouth and concentrating on eating quality foods in decent quantities...the weight started coming off again.



So when you get stuck, make sure you take a good look at your habits - are you working your butt off at the gym, only to negate all that hard work with chinese take out, pizza, donuts and soda? Don't be surprised then, that you aren't seeing much progress. Even if you must take small steps towards a better diet, it's better than nothing. Keep working at matching your diet to your exercise, and success will come. You just can't give up, because these things take time. A whole lot of agonizing, frustrating time. Time that is worth it in the end!



REMEMBER: Your exercise is only as efficient as your diet allows it to be.

Why are you/were you fat?

I'm all about honesty. I believe it is a key component to successfully changing my life and maintaining the health and fitness I have finally come to know. Part of that honesty is recognizing how I got to be 227 lbs and a size 22.

I started out overweight when I was in elementary school. I had no confidence, and therefore was too scared to do anything about it. Exercising or joining in sports would have meant people SEEING me. I never thought it was worth it. Then in high school I concentrated on other things. I was happy with what I did and what I had. I was overweight, but not obese, and I figured that was fine - no biggie. I could manage that.

Then I got married, had kids...the weight started piling on. I ate even more crap. I love junk food, not going to lie. My willpower was non-existent, and to be honest I often didn't even care. I just liked food.

 I also engaged in almost no physical activity. I felt like it would be pointless to try. I was out of breath just walking up one flight of stairs in my own house. That's just the way it was and I felt like that's just the way it would have to stay.

I wanted to change, but really didn't know how. And I was afraid of failing, yet again. And it seemed like it would be SO hard. Take SO long. I felt like I would never get to where I wanted to be. Basically lots of fear affected my every thought regarding my health and the seemingly far fetched potential for change. I am pretty sure I also didn't realize just how big I was! I was fooling nobody by myself.

Now I am a "normal" BMI, which still feels incredibly impossible. I am a size 8 (6 on good days in the right brand). It still seems so foreign to me, but in a great way obviously. I am well aware that it could all go to shit, SO easily, if I ever stop being honest with myself. I need to maintain the honesty. I need to remember where I came from, and why.

Who is brave enough to comment with why THEY are or were fat? Not excuses, but actual, honest reasons?

Diet vs. Exercise

So in my last blog (you know, where I announced that I had kicked the 2's for good), I mentioned that it seems like (at least for me) diet is a bigger factor in weight-loss than exercise. I can definitely lose weight even with minimal exercise, as long as I have eaten well. This means good portion sizes (not too big, and also not to0 small), not a lot of excess sugar/bad carbs, and trying to make my day well rounded. It goes the other way too. I can exercise my ass off, and feel so good about it - but if I ate like crap, it won't matter one bit.

It is an ongoing struggle, and I still have not nailed down exactly how I should be "eating right". I am just guessing, to be honest. I struggle with eating too much. I have struggled with eating too little. Too many carbs. Not enough veggies. Not enough protein. It is always something, and I feel like it is a constant juggling act trying to get it balanced right. So far it is going well, obviously, but that sure doesn't mean it is easy or even that I know what I am doing! Plenty of people have said wow, you are losing it so fast...but then, I also have 2 or 3 or 4 times the amount of weight to lose as they do, so yes of course it is coming off faster...for now.

So now that I declared my opinion and struggles with diet...what about exercise?
I still think it is important. I cannot wait to be able to say I ran (okay it will probably be more like slowly jogged) a 5k. And exercise has definitely been an important tool in my weight loss to date. Best of all...I can now jog a whole mile at a time on the treadmill without dying! And I LOVE the feeling of being all sweaty and gross, knowing you just kicked your own ass working out. I like feeling accomplished, and I like knowing that just 3 months ago, I could barely run 20 seconds let alone 12 or 13 minutes straight. Even better is knowing that this is just the beginning. I am still a novice, and I fully intend to keep improving my stamina and speed. Best of all is that I have now come too far to let it all slip away. Even when I was 30 lbs lighter than I am now (when I got married), there was still no way I was able to run a mile. So it makes me happy to see how far I've come, and excited for how far I might be able to go.

I would like to end with a little statistic for you...I started this weight loss blog and my official journey on January 12th, 2011. Today is April 19th, so it has been roughly about 13 weeks. I have lost 28 lbs. That means my weight loss has been averaging 2.15 lbs per week since I started. Not bad....fast enough to keep me happy, yet I think it is a fairly healthy pace?

Now I have my sights set on 30 :-)

I'm WHAT??

Pretty sure these two words were what came time to mind while I weighed in at 4:50 am this morning. "I'm WHAT?!"

Yes that's right. I'm 199.

28 POUNDS and counting. And do you know what? As this process goes one, I am coming to realize more and more that weight loss is a majority about diet, at least for me. Exercise plays a roll, yes. And it is good for you of course! I want to be healthy and fit, and definitely won't be giving up the exercise any time soon. However I notice that no matter how much I exercise, if I don't eat right I won't lose weight. Likewise...I can lighten up on the exercise and still lose weight as long as I'm eating smart. Not to say I don't eat crap now and then - as a matter of fact, Friday night was marked by whole grain tortilla chips and spinach dip. The chips may be whole grain (and delicious, let me tell you), but the salt! Oh my, the salt! The next morning the scale said I "gained" 2.2 lbs! Obviously that was mostly water weight, but it was still unnerving to see the +2.2 nonetheless.

But this morning! I weight in and it was -3.1! Now THAT is something nice to see! Granted, 2 of that was what I had "gained" on Friday night, but that still comes to a net loss of 1 lb.

And I would like to point out that I have not been this weight since I was pregnant with Kaitlyn probably 4.5 years ago at least. I gained a LOT in that pregnancy, and so everything that I just lost the last few months, could technically all be considered "baby weight". It only took 4+ years to lose...haha

A quarter

If I had a penny for every pound I have lost....I would now have a whole quarter :-)

I am SO excited, and I did a little experiment to get there so I am glad that I have increased my knowledge. I found through trial and error that I am more likely to lose weight after days that I eat more calories (not a ton, but more, and healthy). On days that I have tried to be super strict, I am more likely to just stay the same. That isn't always the case, but it does seem to be a little of a trend. I imagine that with my exercise, my metabolism has improved and it takes a few more calories to fuel my body now. When I don't eat enough calories to compensate, the pounds all talk to each other saying "screw this, let's hold on for dear life, she NEEDS us, she is starving!"

At least, this is my theory.