Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Why are you/were you fat?

I'm all about honesty. I believe it is a key component to successfully changing my life and maintaining the health and fitness I have finally come to know. Part of that honesty is recognizing how I got to be 227 lbs and a size 22.

I started out overweight when I was in elementary school. I had no confidence, and therefore was too scared to do anything about it. Exercising or joining in sports would have meant people SEEING me. I never thought it was worth it. Then in high school I concentrated on other things. I was happy with what I did and what I had. I was overweight, but not obese, and I figured that was fine - no biggie. I could manage that.

Then I got married, had kids...the weight started piling on. I ate even more crap. I love junk food, not going to lie. My willpower was non-existent, and to be honest I often didn't even care. I just liked food.

 I also engaged in almost no physical activity. I felt like it would be pointless to try. I was out of breath just walking up one flight of stairs in my own house. That's just the way it was and I felt like that's just the way it would have to stay.

I wanted to change, but really didn't know how. And I was afraid of failing, yet again. And it seemed like it would be SO hard. Take SO long. I felt like I would never get to where I wanted to be. Basically lots of fear affected my every thought regarding my health and the seemingly far fetched potential for change. I am pretty sure I also didn't realize just how big I was! I was fooling nobody by myself.

Now I am a "normal" BMI, which still feels incredibly impossible. I am a size 8 (6 on good days in the right brand). It still seems so foreign to me, but in a great way obviously. I am well aware that it could all go to shit, SO easily, if I ever stop being honest with myself. I need to maintain the honesty. I need to remember where I came from, and why.

Who is brave enough to comment with why THEY are or were fat? Not excuses, but actual, honest reasons?


  1. For me, it is always "treating" myself. I've been good today, so I'll have a candy bar, when good turned out to be a Quarter Pounder with Cheese and fries for lunch, no breakfast, one or two snacks from the snack table at work, and a creamy cheesy dinner. Happens Way. Too. Often. Then poof, here I am, a size 24. How did that happen?

  2. Kandi - I love the openness and honesty of your blog! I got a little heavy for a little while and mostly it was because I wasn't paying attention and taking care of myself. I was eating too many processed foods because I thought it was just easier and others around me weren't supportive of my veggie addiction. Now I know better.

    I still sometimes fall into the trap of emotional eating and eating some unhealthy things after good workouts...but since the other 80-90% of the time I'm eating healthy, it's ok. It's all about moderation!

  3. Kandi - I've been so inspired by your blog lately, I decided to give you a shout out. :) Not that I have a huge following, but hopefully you gain a few more.

    Thanks for inspiring us!

  4. I am OBESE - yep a "big" girl. I cannot buy "normal clothes" I am a PLUS size. I am tired all of the time. I cry a lot. I recently found out (a year ago) i have thyroid disease. Another crutch. More reasons it is just "too hard" I LOVE food. I take care of everyone else but me. I have not always been this way. Until my Senior year in college I was considered UNDER weight at 98lbs. I could run for miles and I could east and r=drink anyone under the table. Then life really happened. And the weight started going up. I had many excuses - had 2 kids, getting older, my husband liked the curves (at 130lbs) I am a business owner now so I never have "time" - RIGHT?? So the questions I get asked "dont you WANT to be healthy?" "why dont you start running for a 5K?" "why cant you just make better choices" I hate that. So there is my honesty...

    Amy Quinn

  5. I didn't take very good care of myself. My eating was terrible. I had a night job at the time where I was constantly around food, and I would just eat and eat. Plus, I wasn't exercising as much either. I weighed myself one day and saw that I weighed as much as my dad almost. That was my turning point, where I realized I needed to starting taking better care of myself, and putting myself first.